Each year Rich and I get a class full of Happy Veteran’s Day cards from Mrs. Aimee Schultz’s 1st grade classes in the Millard Public School District. Aimee used to work at our store in her spare time and her husband, Marcus, is our manager. These are always such a treat! Thanks kids!

So I have been on Facebook nearly all morning as I am being lambasted with Veteran’s Day posts….which is wonderful! It is almost as fun as reading Christmas letters from family and friends! So here are a few family photos shared recently that I didn’t have or had lost over the years. Thanks again for your service, past and present!

Before I start with my tribute to my military family and friends….I just want to thank those who have reached out to me this week to see how I was doing. Last week just wasn’t so great but as of this morning, I am feeling a lot better. My mouth had been so sore that it hurt to brush my teeth with a soft toothbrush. That is resolving itself, thank goodness, because it is awful. My hands and feet are still pretty sensitive but they are better. I finally reached out to my oncologist’s office to find out the results of my echocardiogram that was done 2 weeks ago. So far, so good. My heart seems healthy and we’ll continue on with the chemo. I have taken on some new tasks at our store that I can do from home which keeps me busy and feeling useful. The darkness which threatened to invade my days last week are diminished. So a special thank you to Paula Buck, Nan Rippe, Joe & Heather Messina, for checking up on me. I am feeling much better. (just in time for chemo next week!)

There is something special about those who serve in the military. There is a bond that cannot be truly explained. The friend and coworker who comes into work to help you labor with your first child…and then becomes his Godmother ( Amy Johnson ) There are friends who you can call in tears because you can’t figure out how to use your Norwegian washer and dryer ( Debbie Engel ). Or people that help you welcome an adopted daughter into your family with a baby shower when you live in Japan ( Shannon Henderson Thomas, Roxanne Aguilera, and Nicole Kobs ) People who step in as proxies when that adopted Chinese daughter is baptized by a military priest from Nigeria in Okinawa ( Chris A Comeau and Chris Beadle ) People who are willing to walk in the rain in the Norwegian countryside because your dogs and daughter need to get out ( Julie Piper Phipps ) Families you have grown to love so much you follow them from Norway to Nebraska ( Ed Oslica , Wanda Doeden Oslica, Morgan ,Oslica, and Zac Oslica ) Fellow military wives who have graduated to military moms with big shoulders to cry on when our boys are deployed ( Wendy Eastop Masin and Carissa Curtis ) Those who have fought cancer and reach out when it seems your fight has begun….even though we were stationed together decades ago.. ( Bruce McNaughton and Mercedes Sink Holmen ) That person who will chat with you in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep and are getting overwhelmed with life…all the way from Japan…because her day is my night ( Adrienne Howard ) And last but not least, my parents, who know what it can be like living overseas as military members. My mom, Karen Ancel Neitzke , mailed me brown sugar and vanilla (a lot of it) when we had a hard time getting it in Norway so I could do my holiday baking. It seems like a small thing. It was huge. To all my military friends and family out there….retired or active duty…. thanks for shaping the person I am and being a support network for all of us. You all are the best!

Serving our great country through military service is somewhat of family affair for both Rich’s family and for mine. Our fathers, my grandma and grandpa, our uncles, cousins, siblings and their spouses, and son all have served or are currently serving. My father and Rich were both career military so many of my friends growing up and friends in adulthood are military. In fact, if you are not military and a good friend of mine, you are the exception, not the rule. I say this because my life has been immersed in military living….hearing reveille over the speakers in the morning, taps at night, standing for the national anthem before movies at the post theater…moving every couple of years and living overseas were all part and parcel of my life. With my son, Joe, he makes 4 direct generations in my family in the military and I am so very proud of that! So thank a veteran today especially, but show your thanks everyday, because their sacrifice is something you can’t understand unless you have lived it. Happy Veteran’s day to all my many friends and family out there. You are deeply loved and appreciated! Below are some photos of family and friends over the years….spanning from WWII to the Vietnam War to the present.

When I heard today that Alex Trebek had died from his cancer, I was devastated. He was diagnosed just about 6 months before me….and he was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer with a grim outlook. Sounds kind of familiar. He was the face of a serious cancer in the public court of opinion. He was open and honest about how depression sometimes overtook him but how he was dedicated to continue fighting for his life because giving up wouldn’t be fair to God or to his wife. It all just hit so close to home. These are my thoughts…daily. It has been a rough week for me. I usually bounce back after week two and I just didn’t this week. My mouth is sore, my hands and feet are a mess from hand/foot syndrome, and I am just tired. This very well could be because of getting Doxil, Zometa, and a flu shot all at once. plus getting Doxil toxic again. Monday will be two weeks since my echocardiogram and no news at all. I am hoping that means everything is okay. Usually they would at least put this on my online patient portal…but nothing. I am having a difficult time seeing well with my contacts and so am wearing my glasses, which I can see just fine with. I don’t think I have the right prescription for my contacts. I have already been back once and my confidence in the doctor at the optometry shop I go to is waning. I haven’t worn glasses full time since the 1st grade. Just one more blow to my sense of being vain…I just don’t even recognize myself anymore. And now I hear that Alex Trebek has died.

Rich and I were privileged to meet Alex Trebek when we were stationed at Kadena AB, Okinawa, Japan. In March of 2006, the wing held a combat dining out. Everyone comes in BDU’s or another form of utilities and armed with water guns….the bigger the better. It gives everyone a chance to let down their hair a bit and have some fun. Alex Trebek was our guest visitor. He was travelling with the USO….and evidently had done so for several years without a lot of fanfare. He was generous enough to go along with the craziness of the combat dining out and all it’s traditions…including the grog. He also stood for over an hour with all of us to take pictures with each of us. Here is our picture from that night. Rest in peace, Alex Trebek, cancer warrior. I, along with many others, take up your fight in the battle.

I wanted to wish my husband, Rich Messina, a very happy birthday today! We have been together for over 30 years and have been married for 29 of those. Nothing about my life with Rich has ever been boring. We have raised 3 wonderful children together….had 6 dogs…lived in three countries and visited about 45 countries. We are two states short of seeing all 50 and have lived in lots of different regions of the country over the years. Although the military has consumed most of his career time, he has embraced his new passion of being a business owner and is doing exceedingly well. So here’s to the love of my life and the rock in my storm.

A year ago today I had what should have been a big abdominal surgery to remove several pelvic tumors. All the scans done ahead of time led my surgeon to believe it could be done. Instead I woke up (still after a major abdominal surgery) but with the words “inoperable tumors” swirling around me.

Fast forward a year. I am still here. So are those pesky tumors. I have other tumors that were discovered in the weeks following that surgery. At this time last year, my life seemed to be quickly swirling out of control. Going from working out 5 days a week to being given a terminal diagnosis….it was all very surreal. But I mention again…I am still here. I am not as healthy as I want to be but I am more active than some people my age…or younger. I am fighting the good fight and trying not to let the chemo side effects drag me down. Would my spirits be higher if I wasn’t living in this COVID nightmare on top of this? Yes, definitely. I miss seeing people…I miss human touch and interaction. I miss travelling. I had a young man from Braasch heating and air looking at my furnace last week and it was such a thrill to meet a new person and interact with him! I had to force myself to stay in the kitchen and work on my pumpkin bread so I didn’t freak the poor guy out by lurking.

My icky week is ending and I am starting to feel better. Rich, Lily, Tallinn, and I went for a fantastic walk yesterday in Chalco along Wehrspann Lake. It was really nice and hardly anyone was there. I think Tallinn and I may mix it up some during the week and drive over there to walk.

I joined a discipleship workshop from my parish via zoom this past week. I wanted to share a couple of tidbits that were passed on my Fr. Michael Voithofer, missionary leader of ABLAZE…. “We are caught, not taught, in the Holy Spirit.” “God loves using sinners! His power can be demonstrated in us just as we are.” “Don’t be a couch potato Christian!” So on this All Saints Day, I wanted to spread those little nuggets that made me go “hmmmm” when I heard them! Have a beautiful week, and know that I am praying very hard for our country right now.

Okay, so I have been playing catch up on everything…what with company for nearly 3 weeks…the wedding…chemo treatments and now just feeling kinda icky for this week….but I really wanted to put up a few photos from our time in Kansas City for the wedding. I am only going to speak for myself, but wow….I just really had a wonderful time! Definitely one of the top 5 days of my life. It was so nice to see our relatives come together to celebrate Joe and Michelle’s wedding. It was even more wonderful to see the compilation of friends they have made over their lifetimes who came together to share in their love. It was evident that they have surrounded themselves with good people throughout their lives and it was so fun to watch all the interactions.

We arrived Thursday evening and all met for dinner at some outside tables at a Kansas City BBQ joint…which is just what you have to do when you are in Kansas City…get some good BBQ. I got to hug my Joe….whom I hadn’t seen since mid-February. Man, I had missed him! During dinner I got a phone call from the restaurant the rehearsal dinner would be at 24 hours later….letting me know they had to close down the restaurant due to the staff having COVID. Luckily, they had a back up plan and all turned out well. The videographer called about 6 hours before the wedding with the stomach flu….she was quickly replaced by one of the groomsmen’s fiancé and a go pro, as well as a friend of Joe’s who is a videographer. So there were hiccups (besides the obvious 5 week wedding delay due to the bride and groom contracting COVID the week prior to their first wedding date). The hiccups were all taken in stride as they came and a great time was had by all.

This was my first goal…my biggy…to make it to this wedding and be able to dance with my son. We did…to my favorite song, “What a Wonderful World”. I had been in my high heels for hours already that day so I had already ditched those and was wearing socks, but it was all good. Michelle danced with her dad to “Lean on Me”. Joe’s two sets of grandparents won the anniversary dance with 106 years of marriage between the two couples, to which the young twenty-somethings in the crowd all gave them a standing ovation.

Joe and Michelle went to Colorado for their honeymoon for a week of hiking and seeing the sights. They are now back in Kansas City moving on with their lives as a married couple. I am so very happy for them and was so very blessed to be able to be there to celebrate with them. I will certainly cherish all the fun memories made that weekend. My husband and kids can clean up pretty good when they have the occasion to do so!

Oh…and the next goal is my 50th birthday on February 15th, 2021! Onto my birthday!

Well, life is somewhat getting back to normal! We managed to eek out 2.5 inches of snow over night. The neighborhood streets are slick and icy…very hard to stop…but it will be 60 degrees by next weekend, so it won’t last long. It is pretty cold so I think my flowering plants are done for at this point…just when they got some moisture in our drought-laden area.

Joe and Michelle stopped by on their way home to Kansas City from their honeymoon in Colorado. It sounds like they had a great time together getting lost in the mountains. They were only here about an hour…just long enough for dinner and to pick up a few things. Please keep Joe in your prayers as he is still searching for that elusive spot on a local fire department. He would really like to get a regular paying job and is trying to get hired on….but it is hard without any experience.

My icky week has started, but I have a lot of things to do to catch up on so I am trying to keep my mind off of the nausea that wants to take over at times. I managed to get to Bergan Mercy cardiology lab and have my echocardiogram done today. It only took 30 minutes rather than an hour, so that was a pleasant surprise. I will be getting these echocardiograms done every three months now to monitor my heart. Doxil’s base drug, Doxirubicin, is heart toxic and normally patients can only tolerate 6 rounds in their lifetime. Doxil is wrapped in a liposome – so a fatty base that protects my heart more. It is so much kinder on my body…allows me to keep my hair…and have other more harsh side effects. I should hopefully hear something from my online patient chart in the next few days as to what the results were. I just had my 8th round of Doxil and my local oncologist was not on board with getting the echocardiogram up until I asked my sarcoma specialist at the Mayo Clinic to mention it to him. I had been mentioning it since I started this chemo regimen. Hopefully all is well.

Still promise to get some wedding weekend photos up as soon as I can catch up a bit. Special thanks to Michele Nagel for the wonderful candle….for Lois & Jim Doyle for their weekly spiritual cards that make my day…..and for Erika Campbell for an uplifting note that I received today on a day I was nervous about my heart health and just needed a pick-me-up. I realize that I am so very blessed to be doing as well as I think I am doing right now with this disease. I have a zoom friend in my LMS group that I also thought was doing well and it was posted yesterday by her husband that she only has a few days left here on earth right now. I was really heartbroken to hear that because even though I only knew her through zoom meetings, she was a beacon of light and so helpful for others. The fact that she is preparing to leave this world is hard for me to fathom….knowing that things can change so quickly with this disease. Please keep Jennifer and her family in your prayers as she prepares to move from this world to the next.

I am trying to play catch up right now! I have had company at my house since October 7th and tried to spend time with them rather than being on my computer too much, so I am behind in everything….blogging, work…life in general. However, I will blog it all out, just not all right at once. I wanted to put up my chemo treatment from this past Thursday, October 22nd. It was a big one…Doxil round #8, my bone medication infusion, Zometa, the IV steriods and anti-emetics, and then a flu shot to top it all off. It was 4 hours but no real side effects other than being a little tired that afternoon. Having company to occupy your mind is helpful! I had a few blisters on my feet this round, so I am starting to get toxic again…but it wasn’t too bad and there was no rash, which is so much harder to deal with. I will be having a echocardiogram on Monday morning to check the status of my heart, as doxil tends to do heart damage along the way if not carefully monitored. I made it to my first HUGE goal since being diagnosed and that was the wedding of my son and daughter-in-law. That will be a separate post (or 4) as it was a wonderful time had by all. Made the top five days of my life.

Well, today marks one year since that awful day in the ER that told us I most likely had cancer in multiple spots in my body. A lot has happened since then…major abdominal surgery, outpatient surgeries for a port placement and a bone biopsy. 10 rounds of 2 types of chemo. A diagnosis of stage IV Lieomyosarcoma….a rare and aggressive cancer that will eventually kill me. I have gone through waves of pretty bad depression and not being able to have hugs or even see friends for a majority of the year, thanks to a weakened immune system and then COVID 19 has made it really really hard. I miss everyone so very much. But as I type this today on my 1 year crapaversary….I am on the right side of the dirt, relatively healthy, and getting ready for my son’s wedding next weekend. I have so much to be thankful for and I do realize how blessed I am! The second lesson for today has one of my favorite verses…. Phillipians 4:13 “I can do all things in Him who strengthens me.” The Gospel lesson talks about being invited to the wedding feast….another parable that hits home.

I am feeling relatively well this week. My parents-in-law arrived on Wednesday and they like to keep busy, so I am trying to keep busy and still trying to stay safe as COVID cases are the worse they have ever been here in Omaha. I have developed some blisters on my toes again, so I am starting to get Doxil toxicity again. If it doesn’t get much worse, I am able to tolerate this easily. We will see how everything goes during the next infusion the week after the wedding. 6 days until the wedding! On to the wedding!