I told you that we flew back on the evening of Wednesday, December 29th. Thursday morning, I spent the whole morning doing all sort of stuff at the hospital. I had blood work done first thing in the morning….got my lupron shot (remember that big, long needle? Yeah, that one…right in the derriere.), got my port hooked up to my zometa infusion (my once every three month bone med infusion), then scooted over to the radiology department for a CT of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis with and without contrast. I wasn’t feeling too great with all the extra junk that had been put into my body that day. I managed to go to an evening zumba class to try and get my blood moving and actually still wasn’t feeling too good. However, I think I just needed to flood my system with water…so downed a liter of water that night and then the next morning before my next zumba mega end of year class and was feeling much better. I have to admit that I am always a bit nervous when I am waiting for my CT scan results. I have never felt my cancer affecting my life…it has been the side effects of all the meds I am on fighting the cancer that actually rear their ugly heads and make my life miserable. I always have that thought in the back of my head that it could be spreading and I wouldn’t even know it. I was stage IV and didn’t even know it. I have a zoom meeting with my local oncologist Monday late morning where he will tell me the results of my scans. I haven’t ever had this happen before….I have always gotten to read the results myself first online, so I am a little nervous. I have to keep reminding myself that there is nothing I can do and worrying doesn’t help. However, there is also the little voice in the back of my head telling me this might be the scan that puts me on a new chemotherapy and ends my freedom for doing a lot of the things I enjoy. Anyhow, in 48 hours I will know and be dealing with whatever the results are. I will also have a zoom meeting with my sarcoma specialist at the Mayo Clinic early on the 13th. He calls the shots and he has been great to work with thus far. So here’s my latest treatment photo…the last one of 2021. Still a miracle I am here and as healthy as I am. I thank God for each and every day and opportunity to live my life to the fullest!

I grew up off and on in the DC area. I have been to many of the sites in DC….and now with Rich’s brother living in the DC are for the past several years, we have been able to bring the kids there to see the area as well. Rich and I were actually married in the area over 30 years ago.

We had unnaturally warm weather while we were visiting and so spent some time outside each day. One of the afternoons we spent some time walking around the Washington Monument and some of the monuments adjacent to it. The skies were a perfect cloudy mess for photographers. It allowed the reflections of the skies to really bounce off the reflection pool and the other bodies of water. We found some awesome holly trees and with the warm weather, the cherry blossoms were confused and some were blooming in late December!

Here are a few photos from one of our walks in Leesylvania State Park, near where my brother and sister-in-law live in Woodbridge, VA.

If you think this sounds like a crazy comedy movie….well, it could be! Lily, Rich, and I flew to Washington, D.C. on Christmas day. I felt bad for the people having to work at the airport and I mentioned that to the gentleman at SW that was checking us in. He told me not to be sorry – he was making quadruple overtime! So I just said, “Merry Christmas!” and went on my way to the gate! We were visiting Rich’s brother’s family: Joe & Heather Messina and their kids. Rich’s parents were already there from Destin, Florida, and so was Rich’s sister, Tammie, from Palm Harbor, FL along with her two adult sons. Our son, Tim, was able to join us from West Virginia, just in time for dinner on December 26th, which was the big Christmas dinner. Joe managed to pull off the Italian tradition of serving 7 fishes as well as lasagna and ham. We had 18 family members at dinner that night and it was delicious! (Good thing, because we were eating leftovers for the remainder of our time there – so, so good!) We did a gift exchange and taught those who had never played before how to play “the game” (Settlers of Catan). I love that Heather just learned the game and won twice! Those Messina boys weren’t too happy about that! It was nice to be able to spend time with Rich’s parents, siblings, and our nieces and nephews and their dogs.

We were able to get together with some friends from my very distant past. I am not exaggerating! CPT and Mrs. Weien lived on Ft. Belvoir, VA and they were my family’s next-door neighbors when I was 3 and 4 years old. They have always told their kids that I am the reason they exist, that I was a nice little girl that charmed them when I was little. They had been disenfranchised by some other children they had met and weren’t sure they were going to have kids. Well, they did end up have two fabulous kids and when the Army brought my family and theirs back to the DC area again when I was in high school, Mrs. Weien taught English at my high school and I would occasionally babysit their kids. Kind of like a full circle type of thing. I hadn’t seen the Weiens in a really long time. They brought their daughter, Gwen, with them as well. I got to bring Rich, Lily, and Tim. We had a lovely lunch and the years melted away. I am totally blessed have been surrounded by such wonderful people from the very beginning of my life!

We flew back on December 29th, and Tim flew to Arizona to spend a week with his best friend for his graduation from grad school gift from us. Tim is starting to apply to jobs across the country and has been called back for some interviews…so I am excited to watch him move on to the next chapter of his life. Right now he is having a blast with his friends in Arizona – well deserved after all of the long hours he has put into his internship and grad school.

I have been out of town over the holidays so I am just going through the photographs on my camera. I have to say that I was on a race all the way up until we left on Christmas Day. That is NOT the way I like to spend my advent season. However, on Christmas Eve, the weather was abnormally warm here in Nebraska. No jacket needed! The skies were crazy cool. I was able to take some pictures of a friend and her kids as a special treat…for all of us. Then I went by our church and noticed that I would like to take some photos of the church itself and the nativity. I also was sad I was leaving my sidekick, Tallinn, on Christmas to a dogsitter, so I took a few photos of him by the tree.

This past Sunday, Rich was a real trooper and took me to a couple of places that were on my Nebraska bucket list to photograph. The first stop was the Omaha National Cemetery. It is the military cemetery in the area and has been decorated with wreaths for the Christmas season. The second stop (after stopping at the mall to sign a permission slip for Lily to FINALLY get her ears pierced) we went to the Boby Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge. For those of you NOT from the Omaha area, this is a lit pedestrian bridge between downtown Omaha, Nebraska and Council Bluffs, Iowa….over the Missouri River. There was a full moon and the sunset was pretty spectacular as well. I was able to get some really good city scape photos of the Omaha skyline. This is a bit out of my comfort zone as taking photos as it is getting dark is a challenge. Plus, the wind was blowing like crazy! The photos from on the bridge were hard even on a tripod because the bridge was vibrating in the wind. The suspension cords were shaking so bad it sounded like a freight train. I also want to mention how COLD it was…and with the wind…it wasn’t a lot of fun. Thanks to Rich who stuck it out and only said once or twice….”Are you ready to go? I can’t feel my feet!” The Troll, Omar, lives under the bridge.

Our youngest son, Tim, is a driven kid. I have never seen someone so focused on goals and harder working. I told a friend this morning that if I could have 10 Tim Messinas, we could take over the world. Tim graduated 3 years ago from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln with a degree in Exercise, Nutition, and Health. As of this past Saturday, he graduated from Concordia University-Chicago with a Master’s degree in Strength & Conditioning. I am so very proud of him! Tim currently lives in West Virginia (2 days drive from us) and is a strength & conditioning coach intern at West Virginia University. He can stay in the internship until May…but will be starting to look for a permanent job coaching elite athletes. I am so excited for him. The world is his oyster and I look forward to seeing what 2022 brings for him!

On December 30th, I am getting the works done at CHI Bergan Mercy. I have four appointments that morning…one for blood work, one for a Lupron shot (cue huge needle), one for a Zometa infusion via my port (this is to “seal” my bones from further mets and I get it every 3 months) and then my 3 month scans of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis. I have had good results thus far, but I literally live scan to scan, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have changed my life quite a bit since the last scan…participating in 6 cardio classes a week. I just don’t know how my cancer is going to react to that. It seems like it would be a good thing…but I don’t know. So I am a little more nervous about these scans.

I am a member of a chronic cancer support group through A Time To Heal. We meet every other week and have only been meeting via zoom for the last couple of years. These people are such an inspiration. They are all stage IV cancer and have been surviving and thriving with their cancer for years. It was exactly what I needed – this group of wonderful men and women. Some of the members have been around since the group was founded in 2010…which is inspiring. We have 3 moderators who are either former oncology nurses or psychologists. They are more like friends and a part of the group though. Those three moderators are retiring this month…so it will be a whole new atmosphere in January as our group will be merged with another group as well. The outgoing moderators went to each of our homes and left a box on our doors. We opened them together during our last zoom meeting together last week. We each got a beautiful mug filled with candy. I loved the message on the mug so much that I wanted to share it with you. Whenever I start to get overly anxious about my upcoming scans and it threatens to overshadow my Christmas season, I glance at this mug and adjust my attitude. I think that you don’t have to have stage IV cancer to get a good message from this mug – so I am sharing it with you all!

On my drive back from my week in Houston, I got a phone call from one of the instructors at the Southwest YMCA. Her name is Heather and she is one of my favorites. She started a little troupe of adult (mostly older adult) dancers after her cardio class on Monday mornings. I love to dance and Heather is an accomplished choreographer and dance instructor. She also did a lot of martial arts, which is why we have bonded. I figured I did a lot of singing and dancing while I was a Sweet Adeline, and well, why not! I joined the little dance troupe of 8 women (me being the youngest by quite a bit) called the Southwest Shining Stars. We have fun and practice for about 30 minutes every Monday morning after cardio class. So…Heather calls me as I am traipsing through the backroads of Kansas on my way home. She wants to know what size tutu to order for me for our performance (which was this past Friday). I am 50 years old and no one has EVER asked me for my tutu size. I am pretty much thinking that someone my size and age has no business wearing a tutu….for a performance or otherwise! Anyhow, not only did I wear a tutu for our two numbers for the senior citizens’ breakfast at the YMCA this past Friday, but I also wore a velvet and sequined bow in my hair. To say I was outside of my comfort zone was a bit of an understatement. Unfortunately there were A LOT of people taking photos and video of said performance so I thought I would get out ahead of this thing and just post a picture of the youngest SW Shining Star…me. I know my kickboxing friends would pay money to see this, and I said as much as I was donning the bow and tutu and walking into the gym to perform. Sigh. You’re welcome. This is so not me….but I had a blast!

I started the day at the Bergan Mercy Cancer Center getting my port flushed and that fabulous monthly shot in the hip with that HUGE needle. I spent the day catching up with work and home stuff…and was really looking forward to doing my Thursday night Zumba class at the YMCA. As I was running a few errands between 3 and 4 p.m., I noticed some really long wispy clouds. These usually mean the sunset will be nice. However, I was unprepared for the beauty that I saw tonight. The sunset tonight in Omaha was SPECTACULAR! I grabbed my camera and tripod and drove out to Flanagan Lake to see if there were any reflections off the water. I arrived to watch the sun set for about 20 minutes and then stayed to catch the after colors, which are typically the most rich and vibrant. Several people came out to walk the lake and ended up standing there with me taking photos with their phones and just taking in the beauty of God’s painting tonight.

Whilst the rest of the family flew out to their respective cities on Saturday morning, Tallinn and I stayed until Sunday at noon. My mom and dad have a smaller place now so all 8 of us couldn’t fit under one roof. My brother, Craig and his wife, Mayra, and son, Alex, were away on a Thanksgiving cruise they purchased pre-COVID (and had been delayed several times). They live 10 minutes away from our folks’ house, so they allowed the kids to stay there. So Saturday my mom and I spent the morning washing sheets and towels and replacing them all in Craig and Mayra’s house. They came home that afternoon and we were able to go out to eat that night and spend a few hours together. I have always had a special connection with my brother so it was great to spend some time with them. Sunday brought church services and brunch with Craig, Mayra, Alex, and my parents before Tallinn and I hit the road. We left a little after noon and the traffic was HORRIBLE. No accidents, just a lot of people leaving the city to head back to wherever they came from. More than once, I thanked God that Rich was not on the drive with me, as 2.5 hours were added to my first day due to standstill traffic. After years of living and driving in Boston, Rich is not a fan of traffic. Understandable. Tallinn and I stopped in Moore, Oklahoma around 8:45 p.m. to visit with some good friends of ours from Norway: Nick and Kana Mauldin. Wow, it was so great to catch up with them…even if it was only for an hour or so in their car! We will make it a longer visit soon, I hope! We made it as far as Wichita, Kansas the first day…finally stopping at half past midnight. Tallinn and I both just crashed hard and then left around 9 a.m. to get home in time to pick up Lily from school on Monday.

I, again, got a few photos in…mostly in southern Nebraska. The weather was beautiful and we came back a different way than we came. Sheila, my Aussie-accented GPS guide, didn’t seem to think I could do 3 point turns on country roads, so when I went off on a tangent to chase an old barn to photograph, or a crop dusting plane, she had me do big “around the country block” moves that led me to some even better views of random rural stuff. I have put a few photos below of what we saw. The cows were free range feeding in corn fields and were resting comfortably – even when I pulled up right next to them to take photos. Then my killer Australian Cattle Dog got his first view of a cow (from his crate in the car) and went bananas. The cows were on their feet and backing up in a flash. Ah well.

I now find myself playing catch up again now that I am back home. I have slid back into my routine of YMCA classes, and carpooling Lily and her friend to school. Laundry is going as well as lasagna for a dinner tonight for our last LiveStrong gathering. I will miss these strong, warrior queens. I am working on Christmas stuff – wrote our Christmas letter and now need to tweak it a bit before printing. I ordered our Christmas photos and can’t wait to see the finished product as I am using a new printing company that comes highly recommended from more professional photographers. Gotta be better than Walgreens 1 hr photo, I am thinking! AND….I also ordered prints for a friend who asked me for some autographed prints of my photos. Gotta say, I was pretty humbled by that! Amy Tamkus, your prints are being printed!