I had my 11th….yes, 11th dose of Doxil today! Today was also my day to have Zometa…the bone medication I get IV every three months. That helps seal and strengthen my bones so hopefully the one bone met I have in my lower spine will not grow or weaken the bone it is in…and also to help seal and strengthen the other bones so no more bone mets will occur. So far so good. Evidently it takes the calcium in my blood stream and syphons it to my bones. So I do take Calcium and vitamin D 3 everyday to help keep that in check. It is given IV. I had my Zometa first, because my results for my echocardiogram done last week had gone missing. No one could seem to find them. They finally located them as my zometa was almost done….all was good with my heart. Yay! So I then was able to get my anti-emetic meds given IV push into my port (this is the stuff that keeps the nausea at bay for about a day or so. Then I got a bag of steroids. This also keeps the nausea (and sleep, unfortunately) away for the next 48 hours or so. Then the red bag of poison came out and I got to watch the Hawaiian punch-looking fluid pump into my body for the next hour. I actually had probably one of the best infusions of all today. I say that because for the first time I was able to strike up a conversation with another patient. That really made the time go by faster and lifted my spirits. Of course now we are wearing masks and physically distanced, so we were talking very loudly to hear each other, but it was joyous to be able to safely talk to someone new…any someone actually. Normally, people keep to themselves…only glancing at people who are coming in to give them the cancer once-over. You know, sizing them up in their heads like a fighter would to another fighter. Asking themselves in their heads: How sick do they look? Wonder what kind of cancer they have? Wonder how many rounds they have done? You look for the tell-tale signs of healthiness….what is the color of their skin…how is their movement walking around….are they emaciated? But this older gentleman and I struck up a conversation that lasted a couple of hours and that was a God send. He is 80 and has cancer that is treatable. He has been on chemo for 6 months and has about 3 months left. He is a PhD in pathology and a retired teacher from Creighton. Since I was also a nurse a million years ago…we had a lot of talks about how much medicine and hospital care has changed in the last 20-30 years. I could talk to him about having LMS and he knew what I was talking about. His wife had had a pretty serious cancer about 20 years ago and had to be seen at the Mayo Clinic, where she had several serious surgeries. He talked about how he decided that he would no longer let the small things that irritated him about his wife bother him. He said that he decided that if God let her live and continue on, he would let things slide and not keep everything inside. He said their relationship gradually changed…for the better…and has stayed that way for the last 20 years. I totally understood what he was talking about because I am also living that right now with Rich. As I have heard a hundred times in my live and I have never really understood until now….”Don’t sweat the small stuff….and it’s all small stuff.” Anyhow, this doctor that I got to chat with for a couple of hours while we were getting our chemotherapy treatments really made the time go by faster, which is nice when you have your stocking feet encased in ice bags! For the first time in over a year, I didn’t have Nora as my nurse. I knew my other nurse, Rebecca, from all the times I have been in the infusion center. Nora did come over and chat with me for awhile. So I had 3 people to talk to today during my infusion. It was like a big party!

Plans….one more dose of Doxil on February 10th…that will be my 12th dose. Then I will have scans…meet with my local oncologist on zoom for the results. Meet with my sarcoma specialist at the Mayo Clinic on zoom to make a plan for March and onward. If there is growth…that means a new chemo agent. If there is stability, a chemo break and starting on aromatase inhibitors to try and attack the tumors by starving them of hormones. This would entail a shot once a month and pills everyday. This sounds so much more pleasant, right? Well, it comes with it’s own set of side effects that aren’t so fun, but hopefully will be manageable. Usually if they aren’t so fun, there are plenty of people on my LMS facebook group from around the world that can give me suggestions on what to take over the counter that helps counteract the side effects. So…the next 6 weeks or so are pivotal in my journey. We shall see! Whatever happens…happens…and I will deal with it. I am happy to say I checked off a bucket list item seeing the Maroon Bells. I checked off my first goal (different from my bucket list) to be at Joe and Michelle’s wedding and dance with my son. Next goal is to celebrate my 50th birthday on February 15th. It lands on President’s Day this year, so I’ll be one a 3 day break, which is allowing my sons and daughter-in-law to come home. I won’t be feeling great as I will be 5 days post chemo….but the activity and love I have gushing forth from my heart when they are around seems to push back the nausea a bit! On to Feb 15th!

So I am playing catch up at this point. I wanted to put out some photos from late Sunday/Monday. I was blessed to be contacted by my former co-worker from Academy International Elementary School in Colorado Springs from 15-18 years ago. Better yet, Renee and I have stayed in touch over the and we are friends. She and her husband, Dave, were kind enough to make the 30 minute drive from their home to Beaver Creek to meet with Lily and me. It was wonderful catching up with her! The years just melted away….and it was wonderful. I will have to say that we were all frozen by the time we parted ways, but it was so worth it!

I also had to pose with Tim for my January 12th “Kiss a Ginger Day” photo! I had no issues….he tolerated it well. I was just sorry I couldn’t give a kiss to my other favorite ginger, my other son, Joe.

We had such a fabulous time in our extended weekend in the Rocky Mountains! We were fortunate, as I was expecting like 2 feet of snow…put they are in a drought there as we are here in Omaha…but they had enough snow for skiing and snowmobiling. We have decided we need to go back to see the Maroon Bells again in either the summer or the fall so we can see the full scene…those three mountain peaks and the beautiful lake in front of them. The lake couldn’t be seen at all because it was covered in snow. I loved the snow version, so maybe the fall would be awesome as well! This was a bucket list check off for me….so I am looking forward to checking off some of the rest of my bucket list items….the Grand Tetons (again….maybe in snow this time?) and some other places out west.

Rich, Lily, and Tim took off bright and early today for a day on the mountains. There are some photos below. Rich decided to snowboard. Lily and Rich were back after their first run. Lily’s legs were just too sore from Friday, so she gets to spend the day with me. Rich was having a hard time on the groomed trail with the snowboard, so he swapped the snowboard for the skiis and went back out to find Tim. Lily and I are going to walk around Beaver Creek and hopefully meet up with some friends from WAAAAAAY back when later on. Here are the photos of them bravely taking off this morning!

One of my favorite photos of Tim when he was little was taken in Nov of 2004, in New Hampshire, as Tim was blowing on his hot chocolate in an ice rink watching his cousin, Casey, play hockey. He would have just turned 8 at that time. Fast forward to our time yesterday at Maroon Bells, CO. He was blowing on his hot chocolate again….and it was too cute not to share the comparison. Love this kid!

So yesterday, Saturday, we had a fantastic time! We took a 3 hour snowmobile ride through the mountains near Aspen to go to the Maroon Bells (a small mountain range that is tucked into the Rockies, that is absolutely beautiful. We have already decided we need to come back in the summer to see it then. There is a lake at the base of the Bells, but it was covered in snow and wasn’t visible. We also had the chance to feed some Canadian Gray Jays. Tim has joined us and he was my driver on the snowmobile and Lily rode with Rich. They fed us a fantastic grilled cheeseburger partway through. We came back to Beaver Creek and played board games in the evening.

I packed lunches for Lily and Rich and walked to the bottom of one of the ski runs to meet them for lunch. There were a LOT of people there but we were able to keep our distance. Although I have only logged 2.5 miles via my watch today, I think I should extra credit for half of it being very much UPHILL and there being very little oxygen in the air. I love the art…the sculptures they have everywhere. There are some very talented artists with their work on exhibit out here!

We decided that the pandemic has robbed too much of my time left by being stuck in the house. We are being responsible…but decided to come out to Beaver Creek for an extended weekend. We drove all day Thursday (it is about 9.5 hours). We are staying in a lodge that is really nice. Lily and Rich are skiing today. I will just be walking around town and taking photos. Tim will join us tonight. Tomorrow we will travel to Vail and go on a snowmobiling trip up to the Maroon Bells (pretty scenery any time of year, I hear). On Sunday, Tim, Rich, and Lily will ski again. Tim will head back home Sunday night and Rich, Lily, and I will head back to Omaha on Monday morning. I was hoping to get some other activities other than walking around and taking photos, but with COVID precautions, everything is only booked half full for physical distancing, and those fill up quickly. I am really looking forward to the Maroon Bells! That was on my bucket list of places to see in the U.S., so I am happy to be able to see it! Here are some photos of Rich and Lily as they were going out this morning!

I am not a bit fan of new year resolutions. I feel that they can sometimes be unattainable…so I have moved on to more daily, weekly and monthly goals. After spending a great deal of last year in a funk I would not like to repeat, I have started to move forward to things that bring me joy. I do have a year-long goal I am working on though….I have decided to do a “Read the Bible in a year” program with Fr. Mike Schmitz. It is free…I have done the first 5 days and love it. He actually does the reading for you, says a prayer, and then goes over what was read. It is a podcast on audible, amazon music, spotify…lots of places for free. He is a young priest out of the Diocese of Duluth, MN. He is known for his work with youth and young adults and he is dynamic. If you are interested, it is at the most, 25 minutes a day. Today’s was only 18 minutes long. I am really, really enjoying it. For the past three years or so, I always start my day with the readings for the day and reading about the saint of the day. These are sent as emails to me daily, so it is always how I start my day. But I needed more and this was just the perfect add! What else? Well, I have daily goals. One of them is to tell Lily a joke each day. Another is to sing a song each day. This makes me listen to music….something I did without for a long time this past year. It is amazing how much better I feel after belting out a few songs as I am working….cleaning…or cooking. Yeah, Tallinn gives me some looks, but it is totally worth it as I can honestly feel the stress leaving my body. I am also going to do 25 pushups a day. Gotta get back some of what I have lost. I have signed up for a few virtual exercise and boxing classes that I hope to start up after we get back from Colorado next week. Other daily goals….make someone smile….and tell someone you love them. Lastly, for the daily goals, I have decided to make it a point to contact a friend daily…whether it be through mail, text, email, or phone call. It is as much for me as for them, I assure you. I have been so isolated for the last 15 months that I really need to be interacting with others on a more regular basis. I signed up for an 8 week photography class. I love taking photos and I always have. Now I just want to learn to do it better…learn about camera settings and tricks of the trade. I would love to dabble in some Lightroom and photoshop as well. We shall see! I have taken a few classes before but didn’t really get a lot out of the instructor. I took some online mini-seminars from this lady and she speaks my language somehow and it is finally clicking (see what I did, there? Clicking…) Anyhow, I am excited to get started on that as well.

I have realized that I need things to fill my days…other than work for the store. I need to have more of a purpose and accountability. So what are YOU ALL doing with your 2021? Note to self….choose joy. Chose something that ministers to others while also bringing you joy. My goals this year look so different than 3-4 years ago where I was going to sock away my money, diet everyday, and exercise til I dropped. I look back at that and realize that is what society pushes us towards…and rarely is it successful because it doesn’t bring you joy. I am not saying that you shouldn’t pursue being healthy and being financially stable. Of course you should! Think harder…dig deeper…don’t make it overly difficult…let the Holy Spirit guide you…listen to that voice that tells you to do something for others.

I had my 2nd echocardiogram this morning. I will be getting them every 3 months while I am on Doxil, as it can be heart toxic. Molly, my technician, was awesome. We got a pretty good laugh because she had the hiccups and was absolutely mortified when they just wouldn’t stop. Hopefully I put her at ease because we were laughing and talking about other things during the short scan (she recognized pretty quickly that we didn’t have to do a full echo like last time, so I was in and out in less than 20 minutes). By the time I left, I pointed out to her that her hiccups were gone. She smiled (at least I think she did under her mask). I won’t be getting any results until I see my oncologist for chemo next Wednesday….at least that is usually how it works.

My new 16 year old daughter has pointed out to me twice today so far that my hair is a hot mess. I just don’t know how to manage curls going everywhere. I keep letting it grow thinking at some point it will become manageable. Evidently hats are still my friend….lol.

When Lily was born in China, in Shangrao, in Jiangxi Province, she had a lot going against her. First off, she was a girl. Secondly, she was affected by what is called amniotic banding. At some point in her birth mother’s womb, her water broke. The long, stringy bands then wrapped around Lily in utero. Think of a chicken eggs with the long stringy bands in it from the egg whites. One wrapped around her left arm and cut of the circulation, and then literally amputating her arm. Another one wrapped around her right calf, but did not completely encircle it. You can feel it under her skin and we are happy it has not caused any issues as she has grown into adulthood. Most babies will die from this….but Lily was a survivor. However, her parents knew she wouldn’t have much of a life in China. When Lily was about 2 weeks old, she was placed in a box and put on the steps of a Guangfeng County government building on January 18, 2005. She was found by two women, their names meaning Sweeping Willow and Beautiful Cloud. They called the police and the police, when searching for her parents, found no one. They took her to the hospital to be checked over and then she was released to the Ling orphanage in Shangrao. Since there was no note with Lily, the doctors guessed she was two weeks old, counted back from the day she was found, and gave her the birthday of January 4, 2005. Since that year the Chinese New Year was later on in the year, she is under the sign of the Monkey of 2004 versus the Rooster of 2005. She is a monkey…like her dad.

While we were in China completing her adoption, we were approached by a Chinese business man during breakfast at the hotel one morning. He spoke excellent English as he worked in Los Angeles most of the year working on remote controlled helicopters. He asked us why we adopted from China…Did we know she only had one arm or had his government lied to us and tricked us into adopting her? I told him that we did, in fact, know that she only had one arm and asked specifically to adopt her. He got all teary eyed and said we were such kind people. He even called over the rest of the businessmen at his table to tell them about our situation. We already had two boys and then came to China to adopt a girl with one arm! We were later told that Lily would not have been able to go to a regular public school just because of her missing arm. She would have languished in an orphanage and then put out on the streets as a teenager. Whereas everyone we met in China thought we were blessing her….it was truly the other way around….she has been a blessing to our family.

Lily lived in China, Japan, Norway, and then moved to the U.S. when she was 5 years old. She, like the rest of us, love to travel. She has been to probably 2 dozen countries. When we went to Estonia in the summer of 2018 for a couple of weeks, she absolutely loved it. We are all looking forward to being able to explore again. We are heading to Colorado at the end of the week and we are all excited! Lily will be skiing on a real mountain for the first time (the 300 ft Mount Crescent doesn’t really count). She enjoys skiing and does so without poles as holding one just gets in her way. I can’t wait to talk to her after her first day skiing with Rich at Beavercreek!

A little bit about our Lily as a 16 year old….She is so funny. She is quick-witted and tells jokes with a somber face that makes you wonder if she meant to be funny at all….which is even funnier! She never wears shoes or socks if she doesn’t need to. We have 7 steps from our front door to our main living area in our house and she usually has her shoes and socks off by the time she is at the top of the steps. The girl can game! She has one hand to push all the buttons needed and she has mastered a lot of games that I would have failed miserably at. She hates sports…but got an A+ in her PE class this past semester. She talked about the class all the time…it almost sounded like she liked it….but I didn’t even go there with her, in case that scared her away from fitness again! She and Tallinn are like siblings. She pushes his buttons and he pushes right back. It is hysterical to watch. She loves to get him all riled up about 10 p.m….right before we are all trying to settle down for the night. The girl can sleep! She will sleep to 1 p.m. if I let her. She is really phenomenal at origami. She has made paper cranes that are only 4-5 mm tall. That is some really fine work, especially with someone with one hand! She is a great cook and likes to try new things. She is pretty good on a sewing machine! She made her family masks this year for Christmas. She also made herself a bag, several zippered purses, and a nice long-sleeved shirt. So as the quarantine continues, she is not having a birthday bash for her birthday, even though she doesn’t have school today. We’ll get take out from wherever she wants, and have some cake that I am getting ready to make. She is a decent driver but not anxious to get her license yet, so that will wait. Wishing this beautiful soul, the daughter of born from my heart, a very happy 16th birthday!