A Light that will never go out…

Today I lost one of my dearest and closest friends. Her name was Emily Ryan and she lived in Omaha. I first met Emily at our church at St. Gerald in Ralston, Nebraska. She was a sign language interpreter and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She started teaching classes in sign language after Mass and Lily and I would go. It allowed me to brush up on my own sign language skills I started learning in high school and then later took in college. I remembered her excitement in meeting Lily, who was in maybe the 5th grade at that point. She was such a vivacious, happy, in-your-face person that at first I felt she was a bit much. But as I got to know her, I learned how incredibly genuine she was about what she said and felt. I remember laughing right out loud when I found out she sold candles for a living. Of course she did! She was a bright, shining light who just about blinded you!

When Lily went through her second year of confirmation class, she needed to pick a sponsor. She was still pretty painfully shy at that point and didn’t know who to choose. I suggested Emily and I remember Emily crying tears of joy when Lily asked her. Emily has three awesome adult kids but does not have any grandchildren. She said Lily was a bit old to be her grandchild, but she felt it was a solemn vow she made to help her through her confirmation tasks. She and Lily meal prepped at her house and brought food to serve Rich and me one night. It was a marvel to watch Lily with Emily. They complemented each other so well. Lily even went to go see her over her spring break her freshman year in college when she was in Omaha visiting friends.

I was diagnosed with stage IV cancer in October of 2019 and I was devastated. She was right there by my side allowing me to cry and grieve the future I thought I would never have. She took Lily out and about and away from our house while I was so sick and not feeling good. She made banana bread and soups and brought them over. Emily was the banana bread queen! I think she brought over a couple of mini loaves a week. I will never again eat banana bread without thinking of Emily Ryan. The picture below was when I was completely bald and Emily was trying to keep my spirits up after Mass one day with Lily.

Emily was diagnosed with cancer about 18 months after I was. We talked often and she was so very brave in her fight. We talked all the time about treatments and doctors and hospitals and surgeries. Before we knew it, she was done with treatment and having her port removed and going back to a somewhat normal life again.

Then I lost my Joe…and things got really dark in my life. Emily spent almost that whole day he died with me at our house in Omaha along with other friends of Joe’s. She rallied the troops of mutual friends at St. Gerald and soon everyone came bearing food and toilet paper. (yes, evidently that is a thing). Once again she allowed me to cry, and she cried along with me. She never waivered as a support system or a friend.

Then Emily’s cancer came back….right around the time I was moving to Montana. She knew it was going to be a tougher battle this time but never gave up hope that her God would save her. She and I would talk on the phone about a lot of the tough stuff….planning our own funerals, leaving our kids behind….all those things cancer patients think about but usually can’t even talk about with their spouses as they don’t want to upset them. When she started thinking about hospice, we put our heads together to get some questions for her to ask of the two agencies she was interested in. These topics are all so morbid sounding….but it was a gift of the living, to prepare for her death. We talked a lot about that this year. I told her once that I thought of her as one of my best friends and then I realized just how many “good friends” she had. She told me that she thought of me as her little sister, and called me Little Sis when we would text. It was the nicest compliment.

This morning, surrounded by her three kids she adored so much and prayed for daily, she stepped away from this earthly world and into her Savior’s loving arms. I have no doubt she is living it up with some of our mutual friends we have lost over the last couple of years: Becky, Duffy, and Lori, to name just a few. I can’t imagine my life without her in it…that goofy laugh as she handed me banana bread and a sunflower. I have a metal sunflower that greets me at my house in Montana every day that she gave me as we were leaving Omaha. Her faith amazed me. I will forever be changed for the better for knowing her….and I know many others feel the same. The world is a bit duller without her now, but wow, heaven gained a spitfire in Emily Ryan. Love you, my friend. I now have Joe to be by my side at fire calls to help guide me and Emily to be by my side to pray for me. She was a real gem at saying the rosary. Rest in peace, my Big Sis.