Tim Comes to Montana

With Tim’s basketball season over, he was free to come and spend a week with us in Montana. Our week together consisted of 5 games of Settlers of Catan, a pretty difficult 1000-piece puzzle, a day of skiing in Whitefish, a trip to hike on the east side of Glacier National Park, homemade meals every day, and LOTS of NCAA basketball! It is so much fun to watch NCAA basketball with Tim because he is in the business….he knows some of the coaches and some of the players. If he doesn’t know them personally, he knows about them and can impart tidbits of information that I wouldn’t have known. It makes watching the men’s and women’s tournament so much more fun than watching on my own. Tim gave me his Big West Championship shirt, which I will treasure. He assured me he got other swag and will get a ring, so he could let me have his shirt I saw him wear on TV when they won. We also used his young, strong body to help spread 13,000 lbs of river rock in the flower beds around our house. We got about 3/4 of it done with those 13,000 lbs. We did this once before in our house in Bellevue, Nebraska and it costs hundreds of dollars for less rock than we already used here. In Montana, home of the river rock, it cost $87! Can you believe that? Crazy, right? Rich and I will finish out the last couple of areas on our own when the weather warms up again. The weather was great while Tim was visiting. The day they went skiing, it hit nearly 70 in the valley. However, winter is going to return this week for a bit. Our snow is gone but the ground is pretty soft and wet still. Anyhow, as Tim wings his way back to San Diego, I wanted to share some photos of while he was here. It is always so awesome to have your adult kids visit, and so sad to see them leave again.

The Baja Peninsula, Mexico

In early January, Rich and I flew to San Diego to do some training. We boarded the Holland America Line ship the Koningsdam. We proceeded to travel around the Baja peninsula of Mexico. We had never been on Holland America Line before….and absolutely loved it! By far our favorite cruise line. We have been on those mega ships….not our cup of tea now that we don’t have younger kids. We also weren’t a good fit for the river boat scene, where there was not much to do on the ships. We loved the versatility of being on a smaller ship, but still have lots to choose from in dining options and entertainment. We had never been to the west coast of Mexico, either, and it was a nice change from the touristy spots on the east coast. Not to say that Cabo isn’t touristy, it is. However, La Paz and Loreto were not – especially in January. How is this a work trip, you ask? Well, since Rich and I are travel advisors, we were on a new cruise line to us, a new area to us, and we actually had travel advisor classes on board. We had over 16 hours of training on the days at sea in the classroom, learning about marketing and sales. We had about 50 people in our class, so got to meet some really great folks. Lots of “where have you traveled?” and “How did you book a client who wanted this…” kind of conversations. During our three days in port, we were mostly doing water things. We took a glass bottom boat in Cabo San Lucas around the last pieces of land of the Baja peninsula called Land’s End, where “El Arco” or the Arch, a 200 foot granite rock formation sticks up out of the water. We went snorkeling with sea lions out in the Sea of Cortez. That was pretty crazy. First of all, it was not warm. Second of all, we were out in the open water swimming with sea lions. It was crazy! We saw a lot of pelicans, blue-footed boobies (you’ll know when you see the photos below which ones they are), and colorful crabs. We also saw some whales, even though we were not on a whale watching tour. Think of dogs hanging around the grill at a barbecue…in our stops, we saw sealions begging at the side of fishing boats. We had a wonderful time. We came back to San Diego a week later and got to catch an away game with Tim’s girl’s basketball team. We also got to spend a day with Tim at the San Diego Zoo. (in my defense, they recently got panda bears and I wanted to see them!) That will be a separate post. Here are some photos from our trip to the Baja peninsula of Mexico!

Central Med Cruise and a Week in Sicily

In August, we got Lily settled in her duplex in Kansas City (we furnished a 3 bedroom duplex and moved her in under 48 hours). It was a crazy time, but she and her roommate (her best friend from high school) live there and then rent out the primary bedroom to traveling medical professionals. We took a flight to Washington, D.C. to see Rich’s brother and his family. He was finishing up his command at a local army post and wanted to take a vacation to Italy. We found a great weeklong cruise and asked if we could join them. Then we invited Rich’s sister….so all in all, 6 adults were travelling. We flew to Sicily and spent a couple of days there before we left out of Messina, Sicily on the MSC World Europa for a week. Our cruise was on one of those huge mega ships with a total of 9000+ people on board, to include the staff. It was pretty big and we found ourselves hanging out in the same places, so I am not sure I would go on another huge ship like that. We had a wonderful time though! We ended up going to Malta, France, Spain, and a few spots in Italy. We were in France on our 33rd wedding anniversary. It happened to be my 50th country. We had a wonderful time gallivanting around Europe. We walked the streets of Pompeii, which was very interesting. It was pretty warm at that time of year and the month of August was also when most of the Italian families were on vacation as well. That made places pretty crowded. After the cruise was over, we disembarked in Messina, Sicily and although Rich’s sister and our nephew had to fly back to the U.S., Rich’s brother and sister-in-law stayed with us for another 6 days and toured the island of Sicily. We had a lot of fun. It was pretty crazy seeing our last name on signs everywhere. We would love to go back. The food was fantastic, the driving an experience, and the weather was phenomenal. A warning to you ice coffee drinkers….ice coffee in Italy is not the same as ice coffee in the U.S.. They literally just put ice in your hot coffee. We came up with our new family motto, “Nessun raviolo lasciato indietro” which means “no ravioli left behind.” We tried lots of different food and almost never walked away disappointed. We enjoyed time in Messina, Cefalu, Agrigento, Catania, Palermo, Taormina, Syracuse, and Marsala. Rich and I lit candles in the cathedrals and even small churches along our path for our Joe. We even went four wheeling on Mount Etna. Sicily…the Messina family will be back!

San Diego Zoo Safari

This had to be one of my favorite spots we went in San Diego. San Diego has a lot to offer visitors. In Omaha, the Zoo Safari is something you drive through. It is not close to the zoo and you drive through several acres of land where buffalo and deer and elk roam free. It is quite a nice experience. The Zoo Safari in San Diego is quite different. It is also not located near the zoo…but about an hour north. It, too, is a sprawling area where animals have large places to roam. However, you walk through a majority of it. I got a LOT of steps in that day, but I loved every moment of it! They house their big cats there and they had twin 4 month old tiger cubs out for awhile to romp and play. They were little pistols! They practiced their pouncing and attacked each other and their mom. Their dad was in a jungle enclosure across the path and he was anxiously waiting for his kiddos to come out for their morning exercise with their mom. There were three lioness sisters. Their personalities were hysterical. You will be able to see quite clearly who the more difficult sister with a ‘trying’ personality was. We were able to see lots of rhinoceros and elephants and giraffes. It was a wonderful day and I hope to go back again sometime!

January 2024

It has been a hot minute since I have written anything on this blog. I have plenty of excuses but the biggest one is that the holidays are just hard. It pretty much starts at Joe’s birthday, which is November 13th…goes through Thanksgiving (which we unilaterally skip now)…and into Christmas. What is even harder than Christmas is New Year’s. A lot of fellow grieving moms have shared they feel the same way. Starting a new year when our Joe won’t be a part of it – that is just really hard. There is no rejoicing when the ball drops. I have been reduced to tears for 2 years in a row now. Our tradition was to call each of our kids wherever they were and wish them Happy New Year at midnight. I miss that. I thought as we ventured further into January, I would bounce back but that has not happened. We have travelled a lot in January and for many reasons, I was unable to attend my online grief zoom groups and unable to really allow myself to grieve when I wanted and that all kind of built up until I was home and could decompress a bit. So here I am, at the end of January, playing catch up. But buckle up, people. I am going to catch you up and there is a lot to catch up on.

Tim was able to fly to Montana for just a couple of days from San Diego over the holidays. The airlines are a hot mess and with cancellations happening here and there for his flight into Kalispell (our nearest airport about 25 minutes away), we finally spend the extra time and money to have him fly into Spokane, Washington (4 hours away). This allowed us a little more time with him, as he flew out Christmas afternoon. He is the head sports performance coach for the women’s basketball team at UC San Diego and they are in season right now, so he is super busy. He had never been to Montana before let alone seen our new home, so that was fun. At least in this house he has his own bedroom and bathroom to use when he is here. He seemed to really like the area. We had a day to romp around in the snow in Glacier National Park and play some board games with just the four of us before company came for Christmas. Tim enjoys skiing so we are hoping he’ll be back post season for a longer amount of time to go skiing with his dad and getting to see the area a bit more. He recently got to go to Hawai’i for a conference game. He got to lead his team in yoga stretches on the beach at sunset after getting off the plane. Before the game, he got up with the sun and took a surfing lesson. Joe learned to surf in Norway in a wet suit due to the cold temps (I remember being on the beach in a winter coat taking pictures of him surfing in the snow. Joe would have really been stoked for him to do this!)

Lily had a super long break between the end of her fall semester and the beginning of her spring semester. She finished on December 8th, drove with her roommate up to Omaha and then flew to Montana on December 10th. It was great to have her here. She still likes to spend a lot of time in her room doing whatever it is she does when she is in her room…but when she is out and talkative, it is those times I treasure. She didn’t fly back until January 20th! Unfortunately, we flew out on January 14th and didn’t return until after she left for Omaha. We missed her last week of vacation as we were on a business trip. She was happy to hang out with Tallinn and watch the snow pile up. The week she was here on her own, there was 20 inches of snow that fell. She loves to watch the deer in our yard. This was the longest stint she has had yet in Montana. She like her room because she now has a king-sized bed and a bathroom in her bedroom. She really only needs to exit her room if she is hungry. (insert eye roll here) She seems to like attending Kansas City Art Institute. She is learning that having a best friend is awesome but living with them in a dorm room is a different scenario all the way around. She has had a rough couple of weeks. At the end of last year, she was driving down the highway in Kansas City at night and a white van side-swiped her car and just kept going. She was fine…her car was not damaged too badly, but it was just a lesson in how uncool people can be. On her way from Omaha to Kansas City to start classes a week or so ago, she hit black ice and slid off the highway into the median where she was stuck. She was north of St. Joseph, Missouri in the middle of nowhere and waited about 2 hours for the tow truck to pull her car back onto the highway. No injuries…car was fine. I, however, was trying very hard not to have a panic attack down in Florida, where I couldn’t help her at all. I would like to think Joe was right there, holding that car so it didn’t flip and landing it in the median out of the way of oncoming traffic. Lily keeps her cool. She doesn’t wig out over anything but bugs. She sent me a text and said, “Is it a good time to call you and Dad?” I told her yes, so she called her dad and laid out the story. Having her older brother die in a snow storm almost 2 years prior didn’t help the situation in my heart. I am glad she keeps her cool. The next day was the first day of school and her first class was cancelled due to icy roads. This week, she sent us a text calmly telling us that she thought she might need to make an insurance claim. Her car was parked at KCAI and someone decided the car care kit I gave her for Christmas, a couple of dollars in change and a large pack of toilet paper was worth breaking her back passenger window in her car to steal. A security guard noticed her car window was smashed and texted her. He walked her to her car and then helped her seal it up with a garbage bag until she could get it replaced. Let’s hope that is the end of the drama for the spring semester. When we came home to Montana, we started noticing little tiny rubber ducks about 1/2 inch tall in the most random locations around the house – in potted plants, the microwave, on top of a thermostat….we have found like 8 so far. She won’t tell us how many are hidden. She just said that we MAY find them all before she comes home for the summer in May. Ha! I sent her a package of rubber duckie stickers. She is contemplating placing them randomly all over campus. We are just happy that she is happy. She has matured a bit in her time away from home and she has come out of her shell a bit (not that she was ever in a shell around us at home!).

Rich and I continue to enjoy our time with the volunteer fire department. I may have mentioned before….maybe not, but we have both said that we really feel close to Joe when we are with the fire department…either on training events or calls. A lot of the guys we go on calls with are around Joe’s age, so that is nice as well. The jury is out if that is keeping me young or making me feel old. Maybe a bit of both. Depends on the situation. Rich and I went on a fire call Christmas Eve and Joe was definitely with us on that one. We also brought in Kansas City’s New Year in on a fire call. We also went on a call on his birthday. Joe seems to know when we need to spend time with him. Rich and I, along with four other guys from our hall attended several hours of Wildland Fire Basic class. They call it the 5th season here…winter, spring, summer, wildfire season, then fall. We had a large fire not far from us this past late summer. Now we have the training to participate on the ground if we want. I still need to get my wildland boots yet. I guess the Army/Navy store in Kalispell has some that meet the requirements. Rich is waiting to see if he will get into the 2 week Firefighter 1 class in April. I start emergency medical responder class on Thursday. We have 8 hours of classes a week for 4 weeks then end the course with 3 eight-hour days in the classroom. Hopefully by March 3rd, I will be certified by the state. That is next on my agenda tonight…studying a bit. Depending on how this goes, I may go to school for my EMT license in April.

I mentioned that Lily got to witness 20 inches of snow fall the week we were gone. Prior to that we had a deep freeze the likes they haven’t seen around here in 30 years. The ambient temperature was -34 degrees on day. It was just miserable. I actually went out on few fire calls in that weather. Let me tell you, bunker gear will keep you warm. It didn’t keep our trucks from having issues though. What was really interesting was the Flathead River had all this steam coming off of it because the water was so much warmer than the air. It was eerie. Since we have been home (less than a week now) the weather has been unseasonably warm. We have a lot of trees around our neck of the woods, so there is a lot of shade. Our street is pure ice. I go out to go on a fire call and I look like I am driving the General Lee on the Duke’s of Hazzard – my back end swerves every which way…and I have 4 wheel drive! It has actually been raining a bit. We hear the running of the melting snow. We now look to have about 8 inches of snow, but it is heavy and compacted.

If everything else wasn’t enough, I was offered a slot in a writing through grief class that I am taking online for 5 weeks. It has been pretty interesting so far and I like the writing prompts. I hope to be able to sit down and write about the day that Joe died soon. It has been almost 2 years now. I want to get it all out before the details begin to blur. That class is taking up about 4 hours a week as well.

For the big news….drum roll….Rich and I are starting a new business! We have joined the franchise called Cruise Planners. It is a very well-known travel advisory company based out of Coral Springs, Florida. We have been SLOWLY learning some of the basics via zoom with our foundations coach once a week. We had 6 days of all-day training in Fort Lauderdale, Florida a couple of weeks ago. (we had a 110 degree temperature swing from Montana to Florida.) We were at the convention center from 7:30 a.m. to about 5:30 p.m. every day – so we didn’t get to enjoy the warm, sunny weather. We took walks at night. We were in the marina near the port of Fort Lauderdale, so we had a lot of very expensive yachts just outside our hotel. We woke up daily to see which cruise ships had glided into port during the night. We had a lot to learn! It was like trying to take a sip of water from a fire hose. SO MUCH INFORMATION! We had 79 people in our class, from all over the U.S. and from all walks of life. It was wonderful to meet them all. On the last day, we got to tour the Sky Princess ship. It was fun to see the different types of staterooms and then have a meal in the dining room with just our class. We will be working from our home and able to help anyone who wants to schedule a trip and let us deal with all the details. We can help with land tours, cruises, flights, hotel stays, and excursions….all over the globe. We are excited to share our travel experience with others. Our website is up and running…. www.crownjewelcruiseplanners.com . We also have a business facebook group called Crown Jewel Cruise Planners. Look us up and contact us if you want to see how we can help you!

After our class ended, we drove up to see Rich’s parents (4.5 hours away), stopping to see Rich’s uncle/Godfather along the way. We spent 4 days with his parents. We also got to see some cousins, anther Uncle and Aunt, and spend more time with Rich’s sister, Tammie. She came up to Montana and spent the holidays with us. Rich’s mom continues to mentally decline due to Alzheimer’s. It is hard to see a woman I have known for over 30 years and her not know me, or my husband, her son. It is emotionally, physically, and mentally draining to care for adults with memory loss issues due to dementia or Alzheimer’s, so we are thankful that Rich’s dad does have some help coming in several times a week to give him a break from being her caregiver. We were there during peak manatee season, so took a quick detour to say hi to several dozen.

Well, to leave in the middle of this blog post for a fire call, and now it is getting late. Studying will have to wait until morning, I think. Here are a few photos I mentioned in this post: