I am home! I have actually been home a week but have just been trying to get my life back in order after 2.5 weeks overseas. I am now playing catch up with my blog posts. These posts will just be photos from my phone. I usually like to let the dust settle in my head a bit before going through my good camera. I will do that soon and post my favorites then.

First off, it is a LONG way to travel to South Africa. We flew from Montana to Denver to LaGuardia. That took up most of the day. Then is was a 15.5 hour flight to South Africa. It is just a long time to be sitting and trying to sleep in tight spots on a plane. Would I do it again? Yes…but like childbirth….give me some time to forget the travel part! We landed in Johannesburg (affectionately called “Joburg” or “Jozi”). We had an entire day there prior to our land tour starting, so we went on a tour based out of our hotel around the city. We had been told that we were under no circumstances to be traveling the streets of Johannesburg alone. We spent 8 hours with Chris, our driver, guiding us around the sites and sounds of Johannesburg. He was a young man who was willing to talk to us candidly about his country and his city and answer our many questions.

First, a little history on the Republic of South Africa (RSA). It is the southernmost country on the continent of Africa and is made up of 9 provinces. The population is about 63,020,000 people. (Making it the 6th most populated country on the African continent.) The currency used is the South African Rand (ZAR). One U.S. dollar = 16.35 ZAR. The paper money has Nelson Mandela on one side and a wild African animal on the other.There are three capital cities: Pretoria (administrative capital), Cape Town (seat of Parliament), and Bloemfontein (judicial capital). The country of South Africa touches the south Atlantic Ocean and the Indian Ocean. The neighboring border countries are Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, and Eswatini. There is also a country entirely enclosed by RSA called Lesotho. There are 11 official languages in South Africa with English, Afrikaans, Khosa, and Zulu are most commonly spoken amongst other tribal languages. South Africa is eight hours ahead of Montana in their time zone while we were there. We were there during their wintertime and I was in long sleeves, long pants and mostly jackets during our time there. RSA has 19 national parks. We spent time in Pilanesberg National Park, which I will post on separately. RSA is mostly Christian, with more than 85% of the population identifying as Christian. Ethnically, about 81% of the country’s population is black, 8% colored, 7% white and almost 3% Asian or Indian. Here is where it gets a little tricky. In South Africa, a person can be black or colored. Colored is not derogatory term, simply a term to designate if someone is of mixed race. Years ago, they looked at the color of your skin and they used to do a “pencil” test to determine if a person was black or colored. You had to put a pencil in your hair and either shake your head three times or jump three times. If the pencil fell out (if your hair was straighter and softer) you were labeled as colored. If the pencil stuck, you were considered black. Unfortunately, simply due to genetics, some families were torn apart due to this kind of testing. Learning about this kind of thing was absolutely abhorrent.

Kids go to school from age 6 to 18/19 years old. They have a winter break in June for 3 weeks (which was happening while we were there) and then for 6 weeks in December/January for the “festive season”.

Johannesburg is the largest city in South Africa. It is located in the northeastern part of the country and sits at 5751 feet – higher than Denver. Zulu is a popular language spoken there. The city is nicknamed “the city of gold” due to lots of gold mining in the area. It is the largest city in the world that is not built on a river, lake, or coastline. The CBD (central business district) was busy, worn down, and very dirty. Our driver stated that there were a lot of drugs and homeless people in this area. He also stated that the police were easily bribed, which frustrated him. While we were in South Africa, there was a huge strike and uprising about immigrants, especially those from Zimbabwe, which are about 6 million people. About 70% are there illegally. About 5 million cross the borders into RSA each day and bribe the police at the border. The crime rate is very high in Johannesburg. South Africa’s unemployment rate is about 34% and a lot of them are younger people who just can’t find work. There were pockets of areas that were mainly from other African countries like Nigeria, which were considered unsafe and full of drug addicts and dealers. Our driver stated that most young Africans are not disciplined to get things done and to take pride in their country anymore, which was disheartening to hear.

Apartheid started in RSA in 1948 and was abolished in the early 1990’s. That wasn’t that long ago, people. Apartheid separated humans into four race groups: white, black, colored, and Indian. The government was white and the other races were pushed out of cities into their own neighborhoods in less desirable places. There were special laws in effect for each of the four race groups and there was very little intermingling of the races. Afrikaans was the language forced upon the people, and children in school had to learn in this language instead of their tribal languages. Afrikaans is mixture of Dutch, German, French, and English.

We spent time at the Apartheid Museum where we learned in quite a lot of detail about how awful it was to live in South Africa during the reign of Apartheid. We learned about Nelson Mandela and his 27 years of incarceration…then his rise to RSA’s first black president. We learned about Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his struggle for equality as well. The two of them lived in a black township outside of Johannesburg called Soweto, which houses about 2 million people. It is a completely black town to this day. As a white person, everyone knows you are a tourist. We toured Nelson Mandela’s family home, and down the street was Bishop Tutu’s family home – Vilakazi Street is the only street in the world where two Nobel Peace Prize winners have their homes. We also learned in great detail about the uprising in Johannesburg where students were shot at and killed in the melee. We visited the Hector Pieterson Memorial where a 12-year-old boy was killed in the 1976 anti-Apartheid uprisings. We actually arrived just a few days after the 50th year anniversary of that uprising. The Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital in Soweto is the largest acute care hospital in the world with 3,400 beds on 173 acres. That being said, Soweto had trash everywhere. There were herds of goats who milled along the side of the road, eating the trash.

Munro Drive goes on a hill above the city of Johannesburg, and you can oversee the entire city. The smog was very thick everywhere. Johannesburg has the largest urban manmade forest in the world. It is very hard to get permission to cut down trees here. The house on the right was where Nelson and Winnie Mandela lived during his presidency.

This two photos of us are at Nelson Mandela’s family home in Soweto. The photo on the left – the tree was planted by Nelson Mandela. The umbilical cords of each of his children are buried under this Australian melaleuca tree.

These photos were taken at the Hector Pieterson Memorial and Museum where a 12-year-old boy was shot during the student uprisings in June 1976.

We ended our day with a long walk through the Johannesburg botanical gardens. It really didn’t have many plants or trees there. It was a huge part with a lot of rolling hills and trails. It was like a giant dog park. There had to have been 50 dogs running around with their owners while we were walking around. The goose is an Egyptian goose and they are like the Canadian geese of Africa. They are everywhere and a nuisance. They are pretty though. The colorful towers are the Soweto towers. They are two decommissioned cooling towers with colorful murals on them. The area around the towers has extreme sports like bungee jumping and base jumping. I had to laugh because the fences surrounding this area had ads for burial tombstones.

O.R. Tambo International Airport – Johannesburg…the biggest and busiest airport in Africa.

I have moved 30 times in my 55 years. That is quite a bit. For many years that meant writing letters or paying for long distance phone calls. Even with how easy it is to keep in touch in these modern times, some people just don’t bother. I have relatives who don’t bother to stay in touch – even with my cancer diagnosis and us grieving our Joe’s life for the last four years. It is baffling to me, but I am a communicator and not everyone is. I have also learned that silence is also an answer and speaks more loudly than many statements. Those folks may wonder why they never hear from me anymore. I now refuse to hold space for people whom I carry the relationship on my shoulders. Although I miss many of these folks, they don’t miss me enough to reach out. It has been a BIG life lesson over the last several years. HOWEVER, we had a wonderful visit from three generations of a family we were good friends with when we lived in Bellevue, Nebraska.

Tanner was one of my Joe’s best friends in high school. He is such a good guy, and I am so proud of the man he has grown to be. Tanner was the groomsman who walked our Lily down the aisle at Joe and Michelle’s wedding. Tanner had known Lily since she was 5, so she was comfortable being paired up with him. Tanner’s parents, Mick & Kaysie, are friends of ours. For all the home football games, we would sit in the stands with them, cheering on the Bellevue West Thunderbirds. When Tanner and Megan got married, Rich and I double dated with Joe and Michelle to their wedding and we had such a wonderful time. Tanner and Megan have two girls – Charlie, who is almost 4 and Haley Jo (after our Joe) who is 14 months. So the four of them plus Tanner’s folks, all flew up here for 5 days of Montana fun! They arrived on the hottest day of the year so far (86) and left bundled up as a cold front blew in a day or two before they left. We had a great time driving around Glacier National Park…Polebridge…showing them the fire trucks at our station…and just relaxing and talking. It was like having family visit – because that is what I consider them….extended family. The day that Joe died, Lily and I were on our own at home. Rich and Tim were out of state. Rich contacted the parents who knew Joe the best and they came and sat with us throughout the day. Tanner, Megan, Mick, and Kaysie were all there. After four years, I was able to gather myself together enough to thank them for being there that day – on my worst day….and how much it meant to me. I will most likely never live to see grandchildren. Joe used to joke that he was my only hope for grandkids. It was nice to play surrogate to these girls for a few days. It was just so special. Tiring…goodness, I am not used to littles anymore!….but so wonderful. Here are some photos of our times together:

We had a special Memorial Day. We had been trying to go on a hot air balloon ride while Tim and Lily were both here since neither of them have been on a ride before. We had issues with weather and then scheduling changes between Tim and Lily. We got up very early so we could meet the pilot and his son at 0530. We hopped in their chase vehicle and rode with them where they released helium balloons in strategic locations so see how the weather and winds were acting. That being said, the winds were so still that we nearly landed right where we took off. The pilot, Casey, went much higher and we were able to catch some winds higher up that allowed us to move some. I want to explain a few of the photos….that IS a zebra. We landed near a farm in Whitefish that we knew had a buffalo and a zebra along with their horses. The zebra was not fond of the whooshing sound of the flames giving us lift (so we didn’t land in the pasture with the zebra). The zebra ended up going under the white fence and joining the horses (you can see the white fencing where the lower rail is missing. I think it allows the zebra to get away from the horses when he/she wants to. Lily got an awesome photo of the zebra going under the fence. Lily also got told about the history of hot air ballooning. We chose sparking pear cider instead of champagne. We all had a toast and Casey had Lily try and drink from a kneeling position after the toast. He “baptized” her with water as she attempted to drink her cider. It was pretty funny. We enjoyed the beautiful sunrise over the Flathead Valley. Lily then flew out to head back to her place in Kansas City. It was great having her here. Rich and I spent some time on our wooden glider seat out by Joe’s memorial tree. The weather was beautiful. We started the day seeing our breath at about 40 degrees and ended it at 85! Welcome to late spring in Montana….huge temperature swings. Enjoy the photos!

Yesterday, Rich, Lily, and I went to the southeastern part of Glacier National Park and did a couple of short hikes inside the Two Medicine Lake entrance to the park. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it was in the upper 60’s and yet the peaks of the mountains were still layered in snow. The first place we went was a short hike to Aster Falls. (and yes, Lily and I carried bear spray and Rich carried his gun. No bears seen this trip.)

The next set of falls we went to were Running Eagle Falls. This was a very short, easy hike. The water was crystal clear with the colorful river rock on display. Some of these photos were of water a couple of feet deep…and yet everything was so very clear. Due to the extra rain and snow from the last couple of weeks, the falls have been really spectacular.

I forgot to post about the House of Mystery….a roadside staple on the way to Glacier National Park from our house. It claims to have 3 energy vortexes on the property. Lily felt she was being gas lit the people there – felt it was very cult-like. I, personally, got pretty nauseated by being in the tilted house (I think it was built at 18 degrees). It was different and we can say we experienced it…which is more than most locals can boast.

Yesterday I finished my 15th and last treatment at the radiology oncology center! I get to have freedom over meal timing again and when I go to the bathroom! Yay! Honestly, I was much more excited on Thursday to celebrate with another patient I have gotten to know relatively well over the last three weeks. He finished his 9 weeks on Thursday. He got a big bear hug from me. He not only did this treatment every day for 9 weeks but drove 80 miles one way each day to do it. It is amazing once the ice is broken, how we could talk about the nitty gritty of our treatments…. side effects of hormone removal therapy, and the struggle to be prepared every morning for the radiation treatments. It is like talking to another grieving mom or talking to a military person…. lots of top layers just fall away, and we can talk about the more serious stuff right from the get-go – maybe even stuff we can’t talk to our loved ones about. For just a few minutes each weekday, it was a true gift to get to know and chat with two of these men. I brought along Lily and Rich for my last treatment (Rich had driven me to a majority of my treatments over the last 3 weeks) and we went out to breakfast afterwards. I then came home and took a 2-hour nap on the couch. I was so exhausted physically and mentally from the past days especially. I was going to type this blog post last night but got called to a medical fire call instead. Special thanks to my military spouse lovelies: Kim, Wendy, and Mercedes, who sent me these beautiful flowers to brighten my last week of treatment!

Lots of fun to catch you up with! Tim was here all of last week. He had to leave early because he got called for an in-person interview at the University of California San Diego for the men’s basketball sports performance coach. Yes, he just left there 11 months ago from the women’s basketball team. And yes, he did get the job! We are super excited for him as this position will give him some real potential to grow and be there a few years. Do I envy him the move back to San Diego from NC? Oh no, I do not. He is on vacation this weekend with some close college buddies from U of Nebraska. He has one week left at Campbell before he starts his cross-country move. We are super proud of him and I know it will be nice to be back where he has access to all the high-tech stuff he had learned to use and didn’t have at Campbell. So time to move from orange and black back to blue and gold. Good bye Camels and hello Tritons. It was a good year for him in NC, but I am excited to see him moving to a more competitive conference. Before he left, we got a chance to drive up to Polebridge and then on to Bowman Lake. The last time I went there, the view was socked in. There was a storm brewing and it rained off and on this time as well, but the views were spectacular! I am a sucker for stands of aspen trees…so had to add a few of those we saw on the way to Bowman Lake.

Tim’s early exit from Montana meant that Lily only got about 22 hours overlap with Tim here when she arrived. We managed to have a good time for that short period of time. That is the hardest part of having adult children who live in different parts of the country and have different lives with different free times during the year – it is hard to get everyone together.

We took Lily into the park to see the waterfalls on the West side of Glacier National Park. With the snow and rain we have had recently, the waterfalls were really roaring. The spiral rock formation is a 2-foot hole where the water spins on a side area when the river is really full. The water here is crystal clear, and it was a neat formation to find.

We are headed to the southeastern side of the park today with Lily to see what we can see before we close the day out with a play in Whitefish.

I finished my 10th radiation treatment this morning! I only have 5 more to go! By this time next week, it will be behind me. So far I am feeling relatively well. I am tired today but a middle of the night fire department call is most likely the cause of that. This is the second false alarm fire call in the middle of the night in the last two weeks. This one involved three fire departments and about 30 firefighters. Sigh. It was a shorter sleep last night. The treatments are going well and Rich was able to come with me this past Wednesday to meet my oncology radiologist and my oncology radiology nurse practitioner. They were happy that I was basically asymptomatic so far. I am just a little more tired. It is still early, though. The radiation will continue to work for several weeks past my treatment time, so they will continue to see me for a bit. I am pretty much over having to have a very full bladder every morning. I drink a large amount of water in a short period of time and then spent the next 3 hours running to the bathroom. I have chatted with my prostate cancer treatment guys that are treated during my time slot about it, and we all have decided we will never purposefully have a full bladder again. The prostate cancer guys have to do it for five days a week, for 9 weeks. I am only doing it for 3 weeks, so I try not to complain too much. They are my heroes.

Tim arrived on Saturday night rather than Monday afternoon, which was such a fantastic surprise! Rich and Tim were so sneaky about him arriving. I had absolutely no idea! We have enjoyed playing Settlers of Catan and Overlap (our new favorite card game) daily. We had nice weather up until yesterday when the bottom dropped out from under our nice spring temperatures. We have gone to Glacier National Park, Flathead Lake and Big Fork, and today we are heading up to Polebridge on the northwest side of Glacier National Park. Lily arrives tomorrow afternoon, which we are all looking forward to. Tim will be leaving two days early and flying to San Diego for an in-person 2nd interview for a job. As I type this, I can hear him practicing his answers to what might be posed to him. Whether he stays in North Carolina at his current position or moves across the country AGAIN to San Diego, we are so proud of him and his work ethic. Each of those universities would be a better place to have him working there. Lily is finishing up her junior year of art school today. I can’t believe she is going to be a senior! So looking forward to giving her a big hug.

Next weekend will be the Wild Mile competition, where white water kayakers from around the world come to compete in Class IV+ rapids in Big Fork, Montana. There are a few photos of the water this week. It has rained since then, so it will be even crazier next weekend. Here are some photos from Big Fork and Flathead Lake from this week:

My first week of radiation treatment is done! Whoo hoo! My appointments have been at varied times during the first few days, which was difficult, but now I am at the 0915 timeslot every weekday. I have to be getting my body ready about 2 hours prior, so this is a good time for me…and gives me the rest of the day to have to myself. My rectum needs to be empty and my bladder full for each appointment. That takes some finagling beforehand. I have already told Rich that I hope to never have to have a full bladder again. I will relish each time I get to go pee whenever I want to. Luckily, I have two gentlemen that are the in the “maroon scrub shorts club” with me at my time slot. They are both fighting prostate cancer. They have the same kinda prep that I have to do. So we always make a comment about our gorgeous attire and ask each other if our eyeballs are floating yet. These guys are coming for low dose radiation for 9 weeks and I am there for high dose for 3 weeks. I am guessing there are pluses and minuses to both options. They are having a body part zapped whereas I am having a tumor zapped. So far my only side effects have been starting to get a little more tired and then some cramping. I did have some low level nausea for the first three days and that was normal. I meet with my nurse practitioner and doctor every Wednesday after treatment. They said the worst of the symptoms will probably start next week, mid to late part of the week. Those symptoms could last up to 6 weeks, but they hope that by 3 weeks after treatment ends, they will start to subside.

I am still answering fire department calls for now, when I am available. I will keep that up as long as I can physically do that. It does take my mind off of how I feel when I am treating someone else. I had a very full Thursday and ended up taking an hour long nap on Friday morning after I got home from treatment and running a few errands with Rich. I am not a napper….I would rather just suck it up and go to bed early. However, I just couldn’t make it through the day without some rest. The weather is so beautiful in Montana right now, so I enjoy being out in the fresh air when I can. Tim, our youngest son, flies in on Monday, and I can’t wait to have him here. He will be the best distraction! Lily, our daughter, will arrive the following Saturday, so there will be some overlap while they are here. I will finish my treatments right before Lily leaves to go back to Kansas City. I am SO looking forward to seeing them both.

I most likely won’t be on social media or this blog much more this weekend. All of the Mother’s Day stuff is pretty hard…still. My emotions have been all over the place this past week being in everyday active treatment again. Joe was our communicator. He would always give me a call during chemo or that night…and it makes me miss him a bit more. Throw in Mother’s Day, and it gets pretty rough. My other two kiddos are wonderful, and I love them to pieces. They are very busy with their own lives. This is why it will be so special to have them both here in person, where I can talk to them everyday and just catch up in a better way than a once-a-week phone call. I do want to wish everyone out there a Blessed Mother’s Day. I hope you are able to feel the love of those whom you have mothered, whether you are blood related or not.

Another thing about radiation…it are pretty alone. It is you, alone on a table, holding as still as you can for those 5 minutes or so that they are shooting radiation into your body. No one can be with you. You lay on a hard table, legs in your own personal mold, pelvis bare so the tattoos can be seen clearly by the lasers. As the big arms slowly spin around you, you are there…alone. It is like the CT scans. It is just you. It makes it very profound that you are alone in this fight with your cancer. No one else can do that fight for or with you. It is just you. I think that plays a profound role in my emotions as well. Anyhow, it’s like I am on an emotional rollercoaster right now. Feeling overly tired doesn’t help. So if you live in my neck of the woods, please give me some grace over the next month or so. I am working on giving grace to myself as well.

I received an awesome radiation care package from a dear cancer survivor friend of mine, Kathy. She sent some lotions and cooling towels (what a great idea!) and special soaks for the cooling towels and a pair of awesome socks I am modeling below. It brought tears to my eyes that she thought to impart her intimate knowledge of radiation treatment and sent these items to me. I am going to wear these socks every week!

One last thing….there are so many beautiful spring snow crabapple trees flowering outside the Swank building where I have my radiation treatment each day. They smell amazing. I always try to stop and enjoy them each day.

This morning we went to Glacier National Park. It is only open part of the way due to heavy snow at the top. However, it was in the upper 50’s this morning and the winds were really calm. It was the perfect day to see everything crystal clear and also have there be snow still on the mountains. It was just really beautiful. We are so blessed to be able to live in such a beautiful place. Rich worked very hard through two careers to get us here to our place we wanted to be our forever home after so many years of moving around the world. His hard work to make this dream a reality does not go unnoticed. Here are some of our photos from today:

Every morning, usually before I even get out of bed, I read the daily Gospel lesson for the day, a reflection on the reading, a prayer, and then read about the saint of the day. If you are interested in this as well, it is through Notre Dame…and it is an email I get every morning in my in box from FaithND. Today is the first of May; it’s a new month. In Nebraska, a lot of folks celebrate May Day by giving baskets of candies. I kinda miss that. Anyhow, today’s Gospel reading was John 14:1-6 :

Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be. Where I am going you know the way.” Thomas said to him, “Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

I am very familiar with this reading. It was read at my Grandma Neitzke’s funeral. It hit me in such a way that I made sure that I had it written down so it could be read at my funeral, that I planned 6 years ago when my cancer diagnosis was pretty new and I wasn’t confident I would survive throughout the year. Instead, I did, and then lost my Joe to a car accident a couple of years later. Michelle, his wife, asked me to read a Bible reading at his Celebration of Life. I sent the above reading to her and she agreed that since it was somewhat of a “tradition”, it would be appropriate. My heart flew into my throat in a quick wave of grief as I started reading that first line of this Gospel reading. It took me back to standing in front of hundreds of people honoring my son…with my reading being a very important part to our farewell to our Joe in my Catholic mom’s heart. Then I read that first line again….”Let not your hearts be troubled.” The weight of my cancer situation relaxed and eased up its vise grip on my body. I read through the rest of the material for today and got to the Saint of the Day, and lo and behold, it was St. Joseph the Worker. It made me smile. The Holy Spirit is allowing Joe to send me a message of support and love when I am feeling troubled. As I was reflecting on this and having a “moment” complete with a few tears along with a smile of love, my phone started to ring. I answered and it was the oncology radiology department I had my appointments at on Tuesday and Wednesday. The nurse told me that they are ready to start radiation treatments and could I be there at 0830 Monday morning? As in 3 days from now! I just remember saying, “Of course! That was fast!”. She said that normally doesn’t happen, but instead of waiting about 2 weeks, I only had to wait 2 days. So Monday morning I start. That means I will finish up on May 22nd…giving me almost 4 full weeks to recover before we leave for Africa. What a wonderful surprise!

I started texting my kids and immediate family the latest news and my phone rang again. This time it was another member of the oncology radiology team, my social worker. She wanted to talk to me about how I was feeling about my upcoming radiation treatment. She asked me if I felt like a burden or a disappointment to others and if I was afraid. We had a very real conversation that was really good. We actually talked for over 45 minutes. We found out we are about the same age…have lived in some of the same states…and have a lot in common. I hope to meet her in person at some point. She actually lives out near me.

So that was how I started my day…a nod from my Joe….an unexpected call moving up my treatment by a full week, a new acquaintance, and the idea that I might be feeling okay for this Africa trip after all. The weather was great and we spent a lot of today outside doing yardwork, sitting on the porch, walking the neighborhood, and catching up with neighbors. We got a package delivered late in the day and it was our travel packages for our Africa trip. God was telling me He was going to make sure I was going. We had no idea they were on their way. It was a blessed day. I have a fight ahead of me and the next few weeks may not be great but today was great.