Today, February 25th, 2025, is my dad’s 78th birthday. Growing up, my dad was gone a lot. He worked very hard at his job as an officer in the U.S. Army. I remember from a young girl going to watch my dad jump from C-130’s at Fort Bragg, NC. I remember when he would work late, we would take him a big mac, fries, and a shake from McDonald’s. I would hold his meal on my lap….and it smelled so good, but we couldn’t really afford to have us all eat at McDonald’s, so my mom would feed us at home earlier. My dad was stationed in different locations around the country every couple of years, so that really formed my personality. I can easily see it looking back today. I was so blessed to be exposed to so many different parts of the country and meet so many interesting people, some of whom I am still good friends with today.
My dad was a combat engineer with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. He was an airborne ranger and a master parachutist. He was a part of the jump team at Fort Bragg with the 82nd Airborne Division when I was growing up. He had a degree in finance and a masters in the same. He took several assignments during his later years doing just that….working on the budget for the Army at the Pentagon under big names like Schwarzkopf and Colin Powell. He was very proud of his lineage of a military man, and was very proud of his family members who also served. He commissioned Rich and me into the Air Force. He was very proud of his grandson, my Joe’s, service in the Army and that of his nephew, Emil. After nearly 30 years serving our country, it became such a part of who he was. It was the army bumper sticker on his truck or simply the veteran hat he always wore outside the house.
My dad’s attention to detail was notorious. I remember these stupid table lamps we had growing up with white pleated lampshades. When it was my turn to dust, he expected me to dust in between all those pleats. Many tears were shed over this. He used to laugh when I told him that is why I have no lamps in my home…and definitely no lamp shades. My dad also loved everything about the Civil War. We would go on vacation in the heat of the summer to walk fields with plaques in tall grasses. I did not appreciate those trips as a kid. It was not fun. But he enjoyed walking on that hallowed ground.
My dad has changed a lot over the years. He enjoyed being a grandpa. He had tea parties with his granddaughters and played cars on the floor with his grandsons. He mellowed out a bit. I really do miss him. He is still here in body, but his mind has been robbed by dementia over the last several years. He has been living in a memory care facility over the last 2 years. He no longer goes out and about because he has forgotten how to get into a car. He has days where he forgets how to use his spoon to eat. He can’t carry on a conversation and he doesn’t know his kids or his wife, although he seems to feel more comfortable with my mom, who comes to feed him twice a day. I talked with him over the phone today and told him I loved him. He said, “Thank you.”, which is the reply I have gotten over the last several months. I am heading to Houston next weekend to spend 5 days with my parents and try and bond with my dad as much as he is able. I never in a million years expected my dad to be where he is at this point in his life. I miss him terribly, and yet he is still here in body and even sometimes in spirit. Happy birthday, Dad. I love you (and you are welcome!). The fire truck is from 3 years ago when my brother was on duty and came for cake and ice cream on his engine with his crew to the house!
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Messina Musings 