Deer in the Yard

We have a good-sized herd of deer that live in our rural area. They spend time in our yard almost every day. We also have a gaggle of about 3 DOZEN turkey that make their presence known as well. Each Halloween since we have moved here, I buy a few pumpkins on Halloween, when they are marked way down. I keep them on the front porch for fall decoration until about Thanksgiving, and then I take them out in the back yard at the edge of the woods and break them up into lots of pieces. The deer love them. Here are a few photos of a buck who came back to eat our pumpkins.

Travel in October

Okay…finally getting all caught up with all the travel we did this last year! We were traveling so much! This trip was only a couple of weeks, but we had four flights as we crammed a lot into the time we were gone.

We started by flying to Kansas City for Zac and Megan’s wedding. Zac has been our Joe’s best friend since the 7th grade. It was so wonderful to see a big group of Joe’s friends and to celebrate with Zac and Megan. They had photos of Joe on the table of those missing from the event, which caused a few tears…especially when I saw his leather radio strap that Joe’s and Michelle gave to Zac to wear. After Zac had a dance with his mom, he had a special dance with me, to honor Joe. It was to the song, “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables”. The two of us cried through the whole thing. Michelle, Joe’s widow, was in the wedding, so it was good to see her and Lily came with us as she has had Zac as a big brother figure in her life since she was 2. We absolutely love Zac, his sister, and parents. We are so happy we get to see them when we are visiting Lily and Michelle! We stayed with Lily at her place, which was fun. Here are some photos of that couple of days in Kansas City:

We then flew to Florida for our Cruise Planners Annual Convention in Fort Lauderdale. We were there for a couple of days when Hurricane Milton started barreling towards Florida. Rich’s parents and sister live about 4 hours away near the Tampa area and so Rich left me at the convention and he grabbed some groceries, water, and gas, and took a rental car into the storm to be with his family. Thankfully, there wasn’t as much damage as they predicted, and he just got to spend some quality time with his family. I continued on at the convention and trade fair and then went on a 3-day cruise on the Sun Princess. It was the inaugural cruise for that ship out of the U.S.. It was short and sweet, but I tried a lot of things on the ship….took Spanish lessons, Salsa dancing lessons, did some name that tune contests, and learn to play spoons at the Irish pub on board. We only had one stop and that was in Bermuda. It was my 51st country. I chose to go swimming with seals at that stop. It was pretty cool. The entire ship was only travel advisors, press, or social media travel folks. Only one of us could go, and Rich let me go. It meant I was rooming with a total stranger, which was odd. We ended up having a nice time though! They had a pretty spectacular drone light show before we left Ft. Lauderdale. Here are a few photos from Florida time on this trip:

Rich and I then flew to Houston to spend some time with my parents, brother (and his family), and Rich’s uncle and his wife. Rich and my brother and our nephew went to the Formula 1 race in Austin. My dad’s siblings were all in town to visit my dad at his memory care facility. He has been living there for almost 2 years now and he doesn’t know he is married, has children, or siblings. It is hard to deal with, but he is still in good spirits a majority of the time. We were able to spend some time with our nephew, Alex, and our niece and Goddaughter, Emily Jo. We also went to a Houston Rockets game vs. the San Antonio Spurs with my brother, Craig. That was a lot of fun as well.

Doing Some Grief Work with Some Great Friends

For about two years after our Joe died, I was doing grief work with an online zoom group. It was a group made of people of various losses and with grievers from around the world. I was in zoom groups up to four days a week for a majority of that time. It really helped me learn to deal with my grief in a healthier way and not to be ashamed of missing my Joe so much. Monday’s zoom meeting was a break out session where everyone was separated out into different grief groups. I was in the “room” that had parents who had lost children ages 26-35 years of age when they died. I saw a lot of the same people in that Monday group. A couple of the women started talking outside of the zoom group and wanted to get to know other moms better. I call the group the Nueve Amigas…the nine friends. We meet via zoom every other Tuesday for an hour or so and catch up with each other. I finally let my subscription to the big grief group expire when I was traveling so much over the summer. We are from all over the U.S. and one in Canada. Four of us were nurses at some point. Seven of the nine lost sons. Three of those sons were named Joseph. I am the only one with 3 kids…everyone else had 2. In September, Beth flew in from Massachusetts and Katy flew in from Arizona. They stayed here for four days and Rich and I showed them around Glacier National Park and the rest of the Flathead Valley. Beth and Katy discovered they really enjoyed huckleberry ice cream! They were two former nurses and helped me go through a lot of our medical supplies on our medical response vehicle at the fire department. The three of us drove to western Washington and took a ferry to Victoria, BC, where we met up with Barb at her house. Veronica flew up from Iowa to meet us. While staying the night in Washington, I went and visited one of my best friends from our time in Norway. It had been 14 years since we had seen each other but the time melted away easily as being with good friends does. In Canada, the five of us laughed, cried, talked into the night, toured around Victoria, and honored our kids by telling stories about them. It was nice because we didn’t ever have to really explain anything. We were all coming into the week with the same awful reality of losing a child. There is a photo towards the end with the five of us on a pier by the water. We released dried flowers into the water. We wanted a photo of the five of us and so we asked a gentleman who was reading. He seemed a little put out at first. I went over to him and explained that we were all strangers who had just met in person. We were all coping with the death of one of our children. He took our photo and then shared that he had just lost his wife last year and was new to the area. We all gave him hugs. It was such a sweet moment. We got to talking later that those hugs were probably something he didn’t get often now that his wife was gone. We are hoping to have all nine of us get together in 2025. The plans are being made. Here are some photos of that time with my gal pals.

Our kids….lit up by candlelight every night. Every single one of them were gone too soon.

Central Med Cruise and a Week in Sicily

In August, we got Lily settled in her duplex in Kansas City (we furnished a 3 bedroom duplex and moved her in under 48 hours). It was a crazy time, but she and her roommate (her best friend from high school) live there and then rent out the primary bedroom to traveling medical professionals. We took a flight to Washington, D.C. to see Rich’s brother and his family. He was finishing up his command at a local army post and wanted to take a vacation to Italy. We found a great weeklong cruise and asked if we could join them. Then we invited Rich’s sister….so all in all, 6 adults were travelling. We flew to Sicily and spent a couple of days there before we left out of Messina, Sicily on the MSC World Europa for a week. Our cruise was on one of those huge mega ships with a total of 9000+ people on board, to include the staff. It was pretty big and we found ourselves hanging out in the same places, so I am not sure I would go on another huge ship like that. We had a wonderful time though! We ended up going to Malta, France, Spain, and a few spots in Italy. We were in France on our 33rd wedding anniversary. It happened to be my 50th country. We had a wonderful time gallivanting around Europe. We walked the streets of Pompeii, which was very interesting. It was pretty warm at that time of year and the month of August was also when most of the Italian families were on vacation as well. That made places pretty crowded. After the cruise was over, we disembarked in Messina, Sicily and although Rich’s sister and our nephew had to fly back to the U.S., Rich’s brother and sister-in-law stayed with us for another 6 days and toured the island of Sicily. We had a lot of fun. It was pretty crazy seeing our last name on signs everywhere. We would love to go back. The food was fantastic, the driving an experience, and the weather was phenomenal. A warning to you ice coffee drinkers….ice coffee in Italy is not the same as ice coffee in the U.S.. They literally just put ice in your hot coffee. We came up with our new family motto, “Nessun raviolo lasciato indietro” which means “no ravioli left behind.” We tried lots of different food and almost never walked away disappointed. We enjoyed time in Messina, Cefalu, Agrigento, Catania, Palermo, Taormina, Syracuse, and Marsala. Rich and I lit candles in the cathedrals and even small churches along our path for our Joe. We even went four wheeling on Mount Etna. Sicily…the Messina family will be back!

Glacier National Park – East and West sides

While I am blowing you away with the beautiful place where we live, I thought I would add a few more photos of our area. Rich’s brother and his wife came to visit us a couple of weeks ago. We showed them around the area….went down to Big Fork and showed them the Flathead Lake. We then went to Glacier National Park and spent time on the west side and the east side. We saw a black bear and a beaver…several deer and some American bald eagles. The water and the mountains were the stars of the show though. Here are a few of the photos from their trip here:

Trip to Billings, Montana

I am forever playing catch up with my photos. I went to an EMS symposium on October 31, November 1st and 2nd. It is one of the larger EMS symposiums in the state of Montana. Billings is about 7 hours away by car. I stopped a few times and took some photos along the way there and on the way back. I learned a lot while I was there, met some wonderful people from across the state, and saw some fabulous views on the way there and back. Here are some of the photos I took across our state.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is a bit of a hard day for me. Three years ago we all got together for Thanksgiving at my parents’ house in Houston. It was the last time the 6 of us were together as a family. I took a ton of family photos during that trip and I cherish each and every one of them now. We attempted to have a family Thanksgiving the year Joe died and it was just too hard. We decided that we would go to wherever Tim’s basketball team was playing a tournament. Last year, they were at home so we all flew to San Diego. We spent Thanksgiving at the San Diego Zoo and ate at Denny’s. It worked out pretty well. This year, Tim’s team was playing out of town and only for one day, so it didn’t make sense to head out to California for one day. Rich and I few down to Denver last week and spent 4 days in the Colorado Springs and Denver area. Tim’s team was in the area playing the Air Force Academy and then Denver University. We were able to watch Tim do his thing with his team and even got a few hours here and there to spend some time with him. We have so many friends who have retired in that area and we were able to get together with several of them, which was wonderful.

Lily flew up to Montana from Kansas City late on Tuesday night. She’ll be here until Monday morning. We went to our neighbor’s house today for Thanksgiving dinner. It was a small but wonderful gathering and the Lions even won, although they tried their best to lose in the last few minutes of the game (old habits die hard).

I did meet with the Mayo Clinic sarcoma team this week. They agreed that I continue to be stable. The biggest news is that I may not be able to continue to do the telemedicine meetings via zoom anymore. They are tightening up the regulations on telemedicine starting January 2025. My Mayo doctor has to have a license to practice in Montana and he does not. Therefore, I will have to travel to Rochester, MN every 6 months for my appointments. Not incredibly convenient, but it is do-able. I had a treatment last week and here is my photo from that day:

Here are a couple of photos from today. One of Lily and then one of her “meat flowers” she made at our neighbor’s house today to make a charcuterie board look festive.

Here are some photos from our time in Colorado. So photos of Tim doing his thing and some hikes we went on in Colorado Springs and Denver and in-between. Both games went into overtime, so they were great games, but Tim’s team didn’t pull out the W on either game. That makes 3 out of 4 live games we have seen going into overtime. We’ll be seeing them play another game on the road in January.

Wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving. I hope you all have had a wonderful time with family and friends. Take the photos….play the games….eat the pie.

Sending Birthday Love to My Joe

On Wednesday, November 13, our Joe would have been 30 years old. There would have been lots of jokes and teasing about his age. I remember when he turned 25. It was a pretty big deal to him. He was my Peter Pan….never wanted to get old. I just wish it would have been a bit longer.

Joe made his presence known to his dad and I all day on Wednesday. Before I could even squeeze out a tear that morning, our fire alarms went off for a call. Rich and I always feel closer to Joe when we are with the fire department in training or on a call. He made sure he was not forgotten on his birthday as I responded to 4 calls that day, little turkey! I called him that often when he was growing up and sure enough, on the first call, I literally had to shoo about 2 dozen turkeys away from the house to get inside. The ambulance almost took out part of the flock leaving. Yes, Joe was with us all day. Just so you know, 4 calls in one day (and then there was a board meeting as well I attended), is unusual for this time of year. We went almost a week without a call about a week ago. So yes, I know he is making his presence known when we need it most.

I want to thank the handful of people who sent texts, called, or sent a card thinking of us. It was a big birthday, and therefore a big hole was in our hearts. We don’t expect friends to remember, but there were a handful that did and reached out, and that meant the world to us.

I am going to leave you with a poem from my favorite poet, Donna Ashworth. It just makes me think of Joe every time I read it. I also leave you with a photo of Joe that I just adore. He gave me the most precious gift ever – of becoming a mother. Most people think of Joe as an adult…and I do, too, but a momma’s heart remembers her child as that….a child. The time where they adore you and wrap their arms around you with dimpled hands…when they still have all their baby teeth and have never thought of shaving. When they can play all day and want a bedtime story at night. When they aren’t quite stinky yet. I love you, my Joe. You are so very missed. Shine bright, my boy.

Health Update

Between traveling and training and life in general, cancer is still an underlying current in my life. Stage IV cancer….advanced cancer….terminal cancer – these are all words that are in my medical chart. On Monday, I had CT scans done at the local hospital in the area. I was able to look onto my online chart the next morning and find out that the radiologist here feels I have not had any significant change in the last 6 months. So, stability it is! I am thankful and blessed. I know so many people keep me in their daily prayers, and obviously God is listening to you! So, I thank you so very much. My scans have been sent to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota and they will reread the scans with their expert sarcoma radiologists. I have a telemedicine appointment on November 25th to get the official word. It is all looking good and will probably be asked to continue on the same road I have been on.

Last of the Africa Photos – Tarangire National Park, Tazania

I bet you all thought I forgot about you…forgot about finishing up the rest of rest of these Africa photos! I did not! I have been traveling around a bit (again) so I fell a bit behind. Here they are though….the last photos from Tanzania – in Tarangire National Park. This was one of my favorite spots because it is known for the large herds of elephants. I had no shortage of photo opportunities with the elephants. I did get photos of other animals as well….horned bill birds (like Zazu), warthogs (like pumba), giraffes (with oxpecker birds on their necks, eating the bugs off their hides….and even a very pregnant giraffe….you’ll know when you see her photo. Our tour guide was pretty sure she would be delivering within 24 hours. The very colorful bird is a lilac breasted roller. Amazingly beautiful, right? I loved our time in Africa and I am hoping to go back again…to maybe a few different countries and national parks. Until then, enjoy these photos!