Oh my word, it has been a long time since I posted anything on this site. Sorry about that. Life sometimes just takes a good hold on you and shakes you…and even in the moments of quiet, you want to just relish in the quiet and not do much. Christmas is just days away and it has really snuck up on me. I haven’t done any holiday baking, which I typically love to do. I have all the things and just can’t get myself to do it. I think part of it is that it is such a favorite thing of mine to do every year….to give my love through sweet treats to my family. But I have a husband who is not a huge fan of Christmas (every year it is a struggle over me spending too much and making too many sweets) and only one kiddo home this year. Something I have done every year…make treats to munch on during basketball games, football playoff games, and family board and card games, seems to be unwanted this year. Maybe it has been unwanted every year and I never noticed because I had blinders on. It just feels like another piece of my identity which I hold dear stripped away. Who would have made sure I made those treats? Joe. He loved them and would ask if something I made normally was missing. Tim is a health nut. Rich is trying to avoid sugar for his joint health. Lily is not a sweets girl. So I guess that leaves me, who loves sweets and making food for others. It is one of my love languages – cooking and baking for others. That is a hard role for me to give up, as it is who I am for decades. I guess I will just plod through this year without the kitchen smelling amazing, the Christmas music blaring. Tallinn and I will miss it.
The weather has been crazy here in Montana over the last month. We went away for a week to North Carolina to spend Thanksgiving week with Tim and Lily in Tim’s new area. We came home to almost 10 inches of snow. We worked hard to clear it all and then it started to rain. It rained for nearly 2 weeks and all the snow melted….including a lot of the snow measured in feet on the mountains. That results in avalanches and a snow run off that is usually reserved for the late spring. The Flathead River and many of the other rivers around us swelled and in places like Libby, Montana (not far from us) the rivers ripped away bridges and roads and started flooding towns. To add insult to injury, the winds came. When I say wind, I am talking about the strength of winds that uproot trees that are in ground saturated from melted snow and 2 weeks of rain. Trees snapped but many were just simply ripped from the ground, roots and all. Did this happen during the day? Oh no! We had three significant wind events in 4 days and two of the three were in the middle of the night. (of course it gets dark by around 4:30 p.m. here) Power outages were rampant and the number of 911 calls for downed lines and trees were great. The first night was the worst, but even though Rich and I were out with the fire department until the wee hours of the morning, it was a warmer wind and not too bad. The next winds that came through brought in a cold front, making being outside bone-chilling. We FINALLY got a dusting of snow last night. We are supposed to have a chance of snow every day this week. We may end up with a white Christmas after all. So all this crazy weather has made it NOT feel like Christmas. It just snuck up on me.
I do have my Christmas letters out and packages of gifts were mailed and delivered. All of the Christmas presents are wrapped and ready to put under the tree. Maybe I will put them under the tree today. The Christmas toy and grocery give away our fire department does for families who need a bit of help at Christmas time is done and dusted. That is a big job that takes up a lot of my waking time for about a week straight. Lily comes home right in the middle of that crazy time and has helped me for the last 3 years. Her willingness to be a part of this big project makes me so happy. Normally this event is a bit closer to Christmas, but this year we were a whole week prior, which was discombobulating for my internal event calendar. So everything snuck up on me.
Along the same theme, I belong to a VERY conservative Catholic Church. They do not put up any Christmas decorations until after the fourth Sunday of Advent Masses are over. They typically sing one hymn per Sunday Mass and none of them have been anything I know (they only sing very traditional old hymns). That has not helped the process of getting ready for Christmas. Yes, Advent is the season of waiting. And I have been! We have an Advent wreath at our home that we light with dinner. But going into an empty, non-decorated sanctuary has been odd for me this year. The first time we will all see it decorated with a wreath and trees will be on Christmas Eve. Another reason why Christmas has snuck up on me.
So if Christmas has snuck up on you as it did me, I hear ya, my peeps. I don’t know how it can sneak up on us when Christmas commercials start at the end of October and stores are filled with Christmas stuff in September. (oh yeah, I don’t typically watch TV and I don’t go shopping in brick and mortar shops for the most part). Whatever it is – whether your mind is just avoiding the whole holiday vibe because you know you are missing someone close to you, like I am – or because you have family who can’t be with you this year do to distance, work schedules, or just life in general (like I also do), give yourself some grace. Grab a hot cocoa and sit down and enjoy a moment by your tree, thinking about those who you are missing (in the realm or the next). Go for a walk in the cold, crisp air just get outside. That is my big thing that helps me. I think I am going to take my trusty sidekick for a walk right now. He and I both need it. Here’s to hoping you are able to have a Silent Night…a Holy Night…some time with people you love and who love you back. Christmas is a season, not a day. We have time, friends, if it snuck up on you as well. Love to you all!
Messina Musings 