Christmas 2024

We were so very fortunate to have both Lily and Tim home for Christmas in Montana. Tim had a short turnaround time because his team is in season right now. He unfortunately got to Denver and had to spend the night there last night before picking up a different flight today back to San Diego. That was really the only hiccup with his visit other than we didn’t have any snow until the day he left. That did not stop us from cooking good food and snacks…and playing lots of games. Tim is our puzzle kid….always has been. He decided we needed a challenge and therefore ordered the puzzle and had it sent to the house ahead of him. It was NOT EASY! I have a photo of it here:

We worked on the puzzle everyday Tim was here, but we also played a lot of board and card games as well. I think our average bedtime was somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m. each night. Lily was crushing all of us in dirty rummy every night. This did not make her big brother very happy.

Lily arrived on December 15th and will be staying until January 25th – so a nice, long break. We have enjoyed cooking together while jamming to the Wicked Soundtrack. We also took a drive to a nearby pottery place called Montana Earth Pottery. We each walked away with a beautiful mug and I got a couple of big bowls that I have already used at our holiday open house the weekend before Christmas. The owner, Judy, was so nice. I felt like we were being welcomed into a friend’s home. I will definitely be back!

We were pretty busy over the holidays at the fire department. I finally told Joe that 5 calls in 24 hours over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day was getting a bit too much and to knock it off for a bit. We like to think that Joe is trying to get our attention when we are on calls and letting us know in his way that he is with us. He was with us a lot while Tim was in town. Luckily Tim and Lily were old enough to press “pause” on opening Christmas gifts so we could go on a medical call. Here are some photos of Tim and Lily….

You’ll have to wait until I process my good camera for family photos with the four of us. Maybe in a couple of days.

We have had a few Christmas cards trickling in this year. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a couple of special gifts we received from friends related to remembering our Joe. I have a friend from our time in Norway, who is not religious at all, visiting Europe. She lit a candle for our Joe in one of churches she was in and sent me a picture. It meant so very much. Then I had another friend from our time in Bellevue, Nebraska, who had a beautiful candle made with our Joe’s photo on it. It is currently on my desk and I look at it every day. Then our dear friends from our time at Grand Forks AFB, North Dakota years and years ago…okay DECADES ago, sent us a postcard telling us that a wreath was laid on a veteran’s grave in memory of our SSG Joseph Messina. We are not only honoring Joe, but also honoring the gravesite of another fallen soldier. I can’t think of anything more fitting. We are so blessed to have people who still remember that Christmas may not exactly be “Merry” for us. There are a lot of memories…really good ones associated with Christmas. Knowing that we have future memories with Tim and Lily bring us hope. Knowing all our Christmas memories with Joe are in the past, is heartbreaking. So many of our friends are now having grandchildren and that is something that was also taken from us when Joe died. We are so very happy for them and their new roles as grandparents, but there is always that twinge of envy there. I think I would have loved being a grandma. I also would have loved Rich as a grandpa. I had a dentist appointment today and even though it was just a cleaning, the dentist did all the work. He mentioned to me that he had lost his dad this year, and what a good dad he was. He knows I have stage IV cancer and I told him about our Joe leaving before me…that my diagnosis allows me the freedom to tell people how I feel about them, even though that is not how I was raised. I told him that having this diagnosis was actually a big blessing, especially since we lost our Joe. I took out my letter I wrote to him for when I die and I realized I had said everything I wanted to him. That was a huge blessing. I told my dentist that I wished everyone could heed that advice. I found a poem today in my facebook feed that I wanted to share:

Don’t wait til I’m gone

And then stand up to speak

About all the things

That you loved about me

Don’t sing all my praises

Through all of your tears

When I am no longer

Beside you to hear

Don’t leave all that love

Like a secret unsaid

But tell me tomorrow

Or right now instead

And I’ll tell you too

Of the things I admire

About who you are

And how much you inspire

I’ll speak from my heart

Whilst you’re still here to know

“You are” not “you were”

Or “it used to be so”

I’ll speak of your light

Whilst you’ll still hear the words

And not leave that love

In the darkness, unheard

So tell me tomorrow

Or right now – don’t wait

Because we don’t know

When it might be too late

Because we don’t know

When our time might be up

And we need to hear – while we are here –

How we’re loved…..

***By Becky Hemsley***